Angelia Vernon Menchan

Angelia Vernon Menchan is an author, publisher and public speaker who owns two publishing companies, MAMM Productions and Honorable Menchan Media. Mrs. Menchan is also a Budget Officer and former Job Corps Counselor. To date she has published twenty-three books of her own work, both fiction and non-fiction and more than eighty ebook novellas on amazon.com. You can access her bibliography on www.amazon.com search words: Angelia Vernon Menchan




Contact information:
Website: http://acvermen.blogspot.com
Email: acvermen@yahoo.com
Phone numbers: 904 714 2272 904 303 2679

Friday, January 9, 2009

Don't Engage the Madness!

One of the hardest things for people to do, seemingly, is to let someone have the last word,
I was guilty of that for years, If someone said something, you had better believe I was going to come up with some, laser sharp response, it became my defense mechanism, slay 'em with words...
And I can still do it when necessary, and alas, both my sons have inherited my mind and my way with words....yes, the fruit, don't fall far...I know, I know...
Anywhoo...
But what saves me and keeps me sane these day, and also allows my casualty list to stay low...:}
Is my ability to not engage the madness...to just walk on by,
I was talking to a co-worker the other day and he said, he had never met anyone who was so removed,
I told him that it wasn't that I was removed, it was simply that I didn't have time to get bound up, in endless conversations about stuff that never changes or is alway negative, just can't and won't do it...
I told him that how people see me or feel about me is going to be the same, either way,
So rather than be the so and so who gets in needless exchanges, I have chosen to be the so and so,
Who minds her own business and keeps on walking...he laughed for several minutes...but he knew what I meant,

I had to remind one of my sons of this the other day, he has moved on, and is enjoying a blessed life, but there are folks who are struggling with his choices, and as such want to engage him in foolishness....after allowing him to vent, I told him to not say another word to the person, don't feel as though he had to show or prove anything...and as the kids say, Let Your Haters be Your Congratulators and to say nothing to a brick wall because it will still be a brick wall...
I know he wanted to wage war, but he listened to his mother, because there is too much good work to be done to engage the madness....Way too Much!

Blessings,
angelia
SCHAE'S STORY: A Woman's Transformation
Is NO Not Clear Enough For You? @
http://www.angeliavmenchan.com/

6 comments:

JC Martin said...

My husband is like that. I call it his non-chalant attitude. It works for the type of work he does. Me I know when to pick my battles. Most are not worth me wasting a breath.

Anonymous said...

I've learned to say what I've got to say and move on. Having the last word means nothing to me. As long as I said my peace, I'm done. I can't let people control me and IMO people who get into tit for tat are all about control.

Great blog

missulikefridayafter5

G-Nice

Angelia... said...

Wow Sweet Jen and G-Nice on the same day, must be mama deep's day! We all have to learn when to relax and let it go...it sure is hard especially gor colored girls :)

Love You Both!
angelia

CaroleMcDonnell said...

I never really have a problem with having the last word. What I can't stand is the other person having the last word and not ending the conversation. Some folks don't know how to shut up....even after the other person in the conversation has shut up. Great post. Happy New Year! -C

'Cilla said...

I agree with Carol.. some people simply do not know when to keep their mouths closed and move on. Like Jennifer, I've learned which battles are worthy of a comment.

Great Blog Angelia :-)

Angelia... said...

Hey Sistah C and 'Cilla,
that is exactly my point, I have learned to not engage with those people who don't know when to let it go...so I let it go for them and keep on moving...at my age I am about peace and no drama...so to have that I relax and let 'em go...

Blessings!
angelia