The other day I was conversing with a woman and somehow the conversation moved to looks and makeup,
She asked me if I had ever worn a lot of it,
I told her, ‘No, not really, I love lipstick and lipgloss and I powder because I have a shiny nose but that is about it,’
I asked her why, and tears appeared in her eyes,
‘Because people don’t recognize me without makeup…’
I knew better than to say anything,
So she reiterated to me this painful experience she’d had,
She told me that one day she woke up and realized she didn’t have any coffee,
So she ran down the corner grocery to get some,
She was wearing a bright orange sweat suit…
She saw her neighbor, who looked right through her without a bit of recognition,
So she said nothing, however, later that day she ran into the neighbor again,
This time she had on makeup, but the same clothing,
The neighbor asked if she had been at the grocer’s that morning,
She nodded yes and the neighbor said;
‘Oh my god, you look so different without makeup, I didn’t even recognize you, if it weren’t for that day-glow outfit I wouldn’t have known it was you!’
She said her feelings were so hurt and that she would never go out without makeup again…
I felt her pain,
But didn’t really understand,
That felt like hiding in plain sight to me,
I was raised by women who loved to look good,
But looking good for them rarely had anything to do with covering up,
It was mostly how they carried themselves and their personal style...
Most of them had to really be dressed to kill to even have on lipstick,
They all had remarkable skin,
And beautifully arched eyebrows,
But not a bit of coverage,
And they pretty much raised us the same way,
To look as good as we wanted to, but to allow the world to see us,
As we were,
So that no one would ever be shocked or stunned when they truly saw us…
LOVE PEACE AND BLESSINGS!
angelia
10 comments:
Thanks for sharing that... As I grow older, I realize what my father was trying to tell me about makeup, and how I should take care of what's inside and will find that I don't need it as much. He was so right!
I tell you Lena, women take themselves through some permutations for real...and mostly they are doing it for a man and when polled most men don't like makeup anyway...and our elders were very wise...
angelia
It saddens me, in this day in time; so many women are hung up on looks. We are comparing ourselves to what we see on TV, magazines and what society says is beauty. Curves, big hips, thick thighs and breasts are in now and we contribute it to the stardom of some beautiful sisters. We were beautiful before our sisters were recognized by the world. Living by other standards is still killing us inside. I watched Star Jones on Oprah yesterday talking about what she went through when she went from "fat" to "skinny". A beautiful woman who is successful and conquered many business problems but found it difficult to conquer the fear inside. A black brother describes to me recently a woman who he considered to have a beautiful body but a jack up face. I asked him point blank why did he consider his sister ugly and by whose measurement stick did he use. Do we contribute this lack of confidence, fear of rejection, and dislike for our appearance on slave mentality? Okay, I rambling on as usual.... Good post.
Linda,
I think a little of it is our past, ironically the woman I mentioned in this blog was white...but the issues are universal...I attribute my confidence to being raised in the presence of women who taught me my worth and always told me that beauty shines through...
Blessings!
angelia
You are right Angelia; the issue is universal. It is probably harder on white women because it is their faces on the TV, magazines, big screens and its their standards that most abide by. Be careful what you throw out into the universe- it will come back to you- a lesson for us all.
I grew up where no one wore a lot of make-up. As I got older, I only do an occasion lip gloss, maybe eyeliner... My biggest hang has been my weight.. and that is personal but i am ok with it.
Enphasis is placed on hair (good vs. bad; weight and make up) I learned to be ok with me despite....
Thanks Angelia
'Cilla,
I am still stunned by the 'hair' thing...as someone who grew up with a headful of wavy hair, I didnt know it was such a deal, I guess since I cut it all off as a teenager, but in the early 2000s I allowed it to grow again, I was too busy to fool with it and I was simply amazed by how many folks was still talking good hair and bad hair...so much so that when hair conversations start, I keep my curly-haired mouth shut! And weight is something else altogether, when I was growing up we were also taught to love our curves...
Smooches!
angelia
I've never been too big on makeup. Today I will where it tomorrow I won't. My skin is far from perfect but I'm ok with the way I look. I have nothing to hide. I am what I am.
AND YOU AM BEAUTIFUL...
angelia
A little lip gloss or lipstick does wonders. I know I have told my daughter that at certain times of the month, she needs to put her make-up on. LOL. To wear make-up or not, it's all personal style. But to look totally different without it is something else all together.
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