Angelia Vernon Menchan

Angelia Vernon Menchan is an author, publisher and public speaker who owns two publishing companies, MAMM Productions and Honorable Menchan Media. Mrs. Menchan is also a Budget Officer and former Job Corps Counselor. To date she has published twenty-three books of her own work, both fiction and non-fiction and more than eighty ebook novellas on You can access her bibliography on search words: Angelia Vernon Menchan

Contact information:
Phone numbers: 904 714 2272 904 303 2679

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


About three years ago I was sitting in my garage talking to my sons and one of their friends and the friend made a statement that resonated in it’s truth…his words were…
“Black parents are different than white parents, they allow their growN children to stay with them no matter what, white parents kick us to the curb…”
The child said a mouthful and didn’t even realize what a poignant, true and sad statement that was…
Black mamas we are so guilty of that,
We have such a desire to help our kids out,
And those middle class mamas amongst us,
Really don’t want folks to talk about us,
So we do way too much,
And mama way past the statute of limitations,
Without fully realizing what we are doing,
We are doing them and us,
A grave injustice,
Them because they get to make bad decisions over and over again,
And we pick up the pieces, hide the mess and pay until we are destitute,
What we must learn to do is raise them,
And let them go,
And when they stumble and fall, we will have to allow them to be crushed,
Just a bit,
Because you can’t get wine without crushing some grapes,
And you can’t get responsible adults without them feeling the crushing pain of their choices…
And us, because we are entitled to live our latter years in relative peace and quiet,
Without the drama of our kids lives impacting us,
Does this mean that you can’t be supportive,
No, no, no…
But support does not mean,
Spending your retirement paying their bills so they can sit home all day,
Or bailing ‘em out of the same mess over and over,
If they continue to do the same things, obviously they like it and you have to leave ‘em to it….
And here it is,
We are going to have to treat our sons the way we treat out daughters…
Raise them, not spoil them…
It is not a good look for the future…
Trust me on this one…


Mrs. Black? @


Anonymous said...

Sister, trust that when you have done all you can do..........YOU will be okay and they will too. It will just take them a little longer(smile).

Angelia Vernon Menchan said...

I know....