I was talking to someone yesterday who asked me to serve on a board of an agency that is about young women, I gladly said yes...young women is my ministry...
However, as I drove home, all I could think of was the upside-downdedness (I know that is not a word literatis) of this male female dynamic with the young people I I know...personally all the young women I KNOW in their twenties and thirties are making things happen, with the young men, umm not so much, the numbers are dire, actually....
Young women far outnumber young men in college, even high school graduation, and in minority communities the numbers are outrageous...
More women are becoming doctors than men...more women are climbing corporate ladders, what is up with that...
Is it the lack of fathers...surely that contributes, but what about the young men who had fathers, who were always there, why are they dropping out of school, unemployed are underemployed...is it racism...of course racism exists...
But what I am am seeing is not that in many cases...
In too many cases it is wanting easy...Walking off good jobs, not considering the children when making decisions, too many babies, in too many places...
It is feeling that the world owes something because mama always gave too much...
It is having no shame in allowing their women to pay for everything...
It is thinking with penises instead of brains...
And go on and say I am man bashing...I am not...
I am married to a hard working, MAN, who has always provided for his wife and children and only places God before them...and I know lots and lots of these men...
But far too many are not that and they have no excuses whatever,
Daddy was home...
Middle class lifestyles...
Education opportunities...
So if that is true and they still won't do,
Will somebody tell me WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED...SERIOUSLY
angelia...
16 comments:
I want to know too!!
I wish I had the answer. Some want the world to hand them stuff on a silver platter. The world doesn't owe them anything. They don't want to work for things and will get mad if you call them lazy. I could go on and on. It's upsetting to see.
Great question and I wish I knew the answer. I don't think it can be blamed just on the lack of fathers being present. I think it also has to do with the lack of the "village" assisting and raising the community. That's the question. When and why did everyone get the "Don't you dare tell my child what to do" attitude and how can we get away from it.
How ironic. On Facebook, a local author is talking about how black women don't have enough black men to support them.
I want to know too. It is saddening how many boys/men are wandering around and doing nothing productive.
@Wana: The thing is we don't have shared values so many people don't trust others to say anything to their children.
I wish I knew...
Well it seems we are all a wondering...there are so many programs, et al. and still nothing seems to work...
It seems every single conversation, I get into about this subject, there is finger pointing and no real answers or solutions.
That's a million dollar question to which I wish I had the answer.
@Wana...so true! Today is soooo different when I was growing. When we were caught doing something wrong, it wasn't wait until your mother get home....we got it right there from the neighbors.
Good post. I wish I knew. I do think that to some extent this behavior and irresponsibility has become the "norm" for many; so it will take very hard work by many to change things.
Shai,
I hope I am not pointing fingers, I seriously want to know it is impacting families, including my family and communities at large. I seriously would love to know what to do and as Hope says it is going to be lots of work over a long period of time...
When ya'll get the answer please share with me. Pleaseeeeeeeeee!
O Notorious one, I will, I will... but I am telling you there are so many programs through where my husband works, young brothers not showing up for it. Last year there was a program for environmental jobs and microsoft offered free technical training. Hundreds of opportunities and no show. I have seen my husband almost weep at the lack of motivation and support and hundreds of thousands of dollars going to others.
Angelia, you have not pointed a finger. I have had online and face-to-face conversations, that have gotten heated saying it all one gender's fault and so on. Whew! SMH.
I want to know too.
I grew up in a female dominated family...my mother had nine daughters, her sisters had as many daughters, she had all sisters and only two brother...Unfortunately, I look at every male in my family down to my nephews, and they are beautiful (even gorgeous), talented, briliiant....spoiled, bratty, arrogant b*&%$es! They are an example of what is happening to the male population in gerneral...too much pampering by mothers and absolutely being "kept" by women who have in their heads that a good man equals great looks, by women who are held prisoner by the hype that there is such a shortage of available men, and that females of other races are "taking" "our" men, that if they don't keep him happy by any means necessary...going so far as to "share" him with others, turning their faces away from the truth and their pride... he will leave them for another (as if that wouldn't be a blessing). The absence of men play a large part in that women have had to take on the rearing of men...and many of us are rearing them the way we raise young women. My youngest brother can be a male model, he's so gorgeous. He currently lives in a mansion with a beautiful woman and three beautiful children...and he has not worked a real job a day in his life (other than photo-copying legal briefs for attorneys when he was younger). His wife complains that things are tight, but is so aftraid to ask him to cut back, or help out, that they now risk losing their beautiful mansion...and he still won't look for work. I love him, but I don't understand. I don't have sons, but I took my sisters son at age 13 because he was going so astray. He went into the military to get away from my husband's rules. Came out (there was a mess about that), went home to his mother...now he's living with her again, only with five children and a going-nowhere job. Another beautiful face with a wasted future. I argued with a friend of mine yesterday because she just went on a cruise with a married man, and she claims to be a christian woman. He's been telling her for three years he's getting a divorce. He has no children and no property except a house. She says his wife is fighting the divorce. Fighting what? There are no custody or property issues. Anything else, the judge will simply make a decision. He will use her as long as she allows it, because that is what we are allowing our men to do. It's a trickle down affect.
D.J.
DJ my Sista...you hit the nail on its head and oh so welll...
amen
So D.J. you are saying that we are loving our sons and raising our daughters and it has got out of hand?
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