Does anyone care about how things impact a boy?
Anyone who knows me or has spoken to me or read anything I write know I am an advocate for the girls...if ever there is a case where a young woman is being wronged and you need someone to fight the good fight,,,call me...I am so there...
I am also a mother of sons, two smart, funny, God-loving, law-abiding, ain't got no children cause I'm not married sons, love my mama and daddy and don't care who knows sons, get me some more education cause I got a brain boys...
And what I know for sure is that in many scenarios, no one seems to care how things impact them or there is an assumption that no one cares about them or their feelings, well, I am going out on a limb, people do...
I will paint a couple of scenarios...that I am pondering...
Why in an interracial pairing if the boy is Black or Hispanic and the girl is White,
Is the assumption automatically, what will HER parents think?
Do the parents of Black or Hispanic boys not get a thought, are they not allowed to be the ones who don't think it's always a good thing, or are they supposed to be so glad their sons are 'mixing' it up and that a mix will only 'improve' something...surely not?
Or what about the case when two youngsters are mutually fooling around and a girl becomes pregnant...
Does only the girl's family get to grieve about lost opportunities...
Or could just possibly the boy's family feel the same way...
Maybe they had dreams for their child that transcended early parenthood as well...
Now I truly must touch on the Black American Princess thang...
When parents are running around thinking, saying that a young man isn't good enough for their princess...does at some point it ever occur to them or to anyone that the King and Queen of a Black Prince might be going through something also?
I ask this based on a conversation my son and I had...
Someone said something to him, that called into question what they thought his worth was, without ever knowing a thing about him beyond his hip, afro-centric appearance...
Looking askance he was trying to figure out what they were talking about....
Then it dawned on him they meant he should fit some stereotype...he wondered based on what...
The fact that he speaks several languages...has owned a business since puberty...
Has always had a high GPA or could it be (light bulb moment)
That the assumption is, every Black boy is immediately assumed to be something less...
Than the best, which I am left to assume transcends to the scenarios above?
Damn! What about the boy?
angelia
11 comments:
Great post!
I worry for that boy as well... I have two young cubs and am raising them the best I know how but am often perplexed about how often they are forgotten or not thought about... They are 6 and 2.5 now and I've thought about their well-being in the future from they time of their births.
I've thought about those things of my daughter as well, but as you wrote, those things are universal... everyone thinks about their Princesses in that way.
Even down to less important things like variety of clothing and toys available to boys. I mean, cars, action figures, trucks, jogging suits and jeans...what will become of our baby boys?
G-Nice,
we have to protect them as fiercely as we do our daughters, while at the same time allowing their fathers to mold them into men...I can remember my youngest, everyday I would tell him, he is platinum, because he was this brilliant boy, who also loved the streets and what he thought it was, however, we kept him close, allowing him to have closely, supervised fun and what we have before us today is a twenty-two year old man, totally ready to handle whatever the world dishes out to him, but baby it is a slippery slope indeed...and it is work...
SMOOCHES
while at the same time allowing their fathers to mold them into men...
THAT'S what's wrong today...luckily I have my man to help with my lil men but I'm in the minority. I wish it different...
That is a large part of it, but a greater part is fighting against this tide of assumption...it seems to be automatically assumed that every young brother is up to no good, without ever having gotten to know them...it seems that a brother is often assumed to be guilty whether he is guilty of something or not, and when a world's mindset is that...it is an uphill battle, forever, it seems...
smooches
I think our community has been on a "Save the Black Male," at least since I was growing up in the eighties, to the detriment and total ignoring of young women. Remember when folks had those t-shirts, "save the male, love the female." That's why I thought it was so wonderful that you were working with young women, because normally whenever there is concern or alarm it is alwas about young brothers and what they need. Now I'm not saying ignore the brother, but I am saying we need to save both.
I understand what you're saying about families reactions to things like interracial dating, teenage pregnancy and thinking someone is good enough. However, I've seen instances where the parents of that Black Prince were just as vocal. And openly shared their concerns about who is good enough for their child. I think the elephant in the room here is social class. The ways in which our community have focused on young black men has been focused on a black man of a certain social class, poor, lees opportunities, etc. We have been trying to save and keep these brothers out of jail from the time I could remember. So much so that we haven't looked at the sisters in the hood with them and how the highest growing incarceration rate is now women of color. But your right, young balck people who have it together don't get the communities attention. And I'm rambling now so I'll stop. LOL.
Gwyneth,
please ramble, but my point is and remains that you are correct about save the inner city male, but I was coming from a totally different perspective in this case, about the young brother who is handling up and is still painted with a certain paintbrush. Because there are brothers in other situations and not just in those places where t-shirts are being worn. I have two law-abiding sons who have been stopped more times than we can count for simply driving a nice car or wearing nice clothing. I guess the fight goes on in the inner cities because in college and advanced placement classrooms across the nation, there are seven sisters to every one brother and my thing is absolutely that I care about both...because for the survival of the species we have to have young productive MEN AND WOMEN...
angelia
because for the survival of the species we have to have young productive MEN AND WOMEN...
I'm with you on that, sis. That's why I love Alice Walker's definition for womanist when she says that a womanist is about the survival of the whole people, male and female. Provocative post as always, sis!
Gwyneth
I knew I had a title, Provocative Womanist, damn I like that!!!
angelia
I knew I had a title, Provocative Womanist
Girlfriend, that is you! There it is! :-)
Gwyneth
I have three young boys so I'm a bit partial these days because I've been blessed to see the world through their eyes. And it's a different, scary place.
Yet I remember being a young AA girl and I remember the confusion, doubt, and pain.
As with so many issues, often our community seems to be on one extreme or the other. How about we try saving, preserving, protecting, and encouraging all of our children?
Patricia,
I think we all agree on that it should be about all of them...
blessings,
angelia
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