WHO YOU LOOKING AT?

Considering I am a woman of five decades, give or take, most of my friends are in that same range,
I am fascinated when I talk to them, almost always the desirability factor comes up,
Which translates to do men still find us, them…attractive,
A couple of years ago, I read a poll, I think it was in O magazine about the age that women feel men stop checking them out…
I think it was before forty for Caucasian women,
Somewhere near fifty for Asian and Hispanic women,
And Black women felt that the brothers were checking them out until at least their sixties…
I found that so interesting, because I was wondering what the criteria was,
And I was also wondering who walked around looking at the opposite sex,
To see if the opposite sex was looking at them…
I guess a lot of people…
Anyway, I started doing my own unofficial poll,
And I discovered that this was tied mostly to how women felt about themselves,
Where they were in their lives,
If they were in relationships or not and a lot of other factors,
When conversing with a Caucasian woman who was in her mid-forties,
She confirmed that it bothered her that men didn’t really pay her much attention any longer,
Curious, I asked her how did she know,
She painted a scenario of how for years if she were sitting in an airport,
Or some like place men would usually find a way to say something to her,
And once she hit forty it was as though she wore a sign and the conversations stopped,
Next up was a Hispanic woman of fifty,
She thought the whole thing was silly, and said she felt desirable and that was good enough for her…go mam…
Finally, in talking to a Black woman of about sixty, she laughed in my face, telling me that her focus at this point was on looking good for herself and that she was grateful not to feel like she was on parade…
So I thought about myself,
And I realized that I had never really given a great deal of weight to,
Who was watching or what they were thinking,
And certainly not if they were finding me desirable,
My goodness what a lot of work that must be,
And so difficult to deal with once it all goes away,
And it does go away,
That is why I always try to tell young women to focus on developing whole selves,
Because cute can evaporate like so much water after the rain,
But smarts,
Kindness,
Compassion,
Self-respect,
And respect for other is truly lasting and oh so lovely.

LOVE PEACE BLESSINGS!
Angelia

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