Yesterday,
I was feeling a bit puny and could barely keep my eyes open,
But I knew for sure I was not going to miss Obama's speech at ten,
I heard his voice and immediately sat up to listen,
And to ultimately radiate with respect, pride, HOPE,
I am a bit politically cynical,
But last night, my cynicism floated away like so much,
Old stuff,
It felt might awesome to see a Black Man,
Younger than I,
Stand in that room, in that crowd and,
Deliver...
And deliver he did,
Eloquently,
Passionately,
And for real,
I also loved seeing the love on the face of his wife, his woman, the mother of his children,
Michelle,
And seeing those girls, genuinely 'daddy proud'
What an amazing and beautiful sight,
Sometime today,
I will be heading down to main street,
Obama's headquarters to see what I can do,
I feel it's the only thing to do!
Blessings!
angelia
Friday, August 29, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
My First SKIRT! Blog...Own Self
I am blogging at SKIRT! Today...
Stop by, comment, support a Sister!
Love!
http://skirt.com/node/9985
angelia
Stop by, comment, support a Sister!
Love!
http://skirt.com/node/9985
angelia
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Maturation, anyone?
Maturity has it rewards,
I have always been puzzled by folks who don’t embrace getting more mature,
Maybe it’s an issue of not wanting to face their own mortality or simply wanting to be Young forever,
I am inclined to think that many times it depends on where you are in your life and what you have done that makes the difference,
Those who have lived fully, wrapped their hearts and minds around living well and Fulfilling dreams and some fantasies aren’t struggling…
Hmmm,
I so enjoy watching the highlights on the NBC news about the many ways in which elders are living fully, embracing life, having fun,
And many are because of preparation,
Doing some sacrificing, saving and planning for life long enjoyment,
While taking care of the vessel,
Now I don’t buy into all the 50 being the new 30,
Cause it ain’t, fiddy is still fiddy,
But, hold up wait a minute,
It can look like 30ish, feel like 30 (somedays),
If you are taking care of yourself,
Eating properly (mostly),
Exercising, regularly,
And more importantly,
Having a loving, positive outlook that,
Pours from within and shines out!
Blessings!
Angelia
Schae’s Story: A Woman’s Transformation
12/01/2008
www.angeliavmenchan.com
I have always been puzzled by folks who don’t embrace getting more mature,
Maybe it’s an issue of not wanting to face their own mortality or simply wanting to be Young forever,
I am inclined to think that many times it depends on where you are in your life and what you have done that makes the difference,
Those who have lived fully, wrapped their hearts and minds around living well and Fulfilling dreams and some fantasies aren’t struggling…
Hmmm,
I so enjoy watching the highlights on the NBC news about the many ways in which elders are living fully, embracing life, having fun,
And many are because of preparation,
Doing some sacrificing, saving and planning for life long enjoyment,
While taking care of the vessel,
Now I don’t buy into all the 50 being the new 30,
Cause it ain’t, fiddy is still fiddy,
But, hold up wait a minute,
It can look like 30ish, feel like 30 (somedays),
If you are taking care of yourself,
Eating properly (mostly),
Exercising, regularly,
And more importantly,
Having a loving, positive outlook that,
Pours from within and shines out!
Blessings!
Angelia
Schae’s Story: A Woman’s Transformation
12/01/2008
www.angeliavmenchan.com
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Representing...
Last night, listening to and watching Michelle Obama,
I could see myself, not just because she was Black,
Or 5’11” and a Capricorn woman, all of which we share,
But that she simply has to spend time, showing and proving who she is,
And knowing full well that it never ends,
There have been so many times in my life, when I have been straight up tired,
Of showing that I am capable, proving that I am worthy,
I think of every time I moved over the years and started a new job,It was the same old story, having to show that we aren’t monolithic,
And that basically people are people,
Most startling to me has always been how shocked,
The majority can be at the fact that we live well,
Love well,
Raise super kids,
And don’t want to be anyone other than who we are,
But that we aren’t going to allow anyone to stand in the way of who we are,
Or what we want or are trying to achieve,
It is a particularly slippery slope,
Because when you are as brutally honest as I am,
You are too often asked,
“Are you mad?”
Uh uh, just truthful,
Or the fact that people don’t know they are insulting you,
When they ask if your kids are athletes because they are tall,
And you have to tell them,
“No, actually but he is an honor student!”
What I have learned to do is stay real,
To me and to mine,
And try to maintain a level of,
Spirituality and reality, knowing all the time,
That it is what it is,
And people are who they are,
And all we can do is “Rep” our best…
Thanks Michelle!
Blessings,
angelia
I could see myself, not just because she was Black,
Or 5’11” and a Capricorn woman, all of which we share,
But that she simply has to spend time, showing and proving who she is,
And knowing full well that it never ends,
There have been so many times in my life, when I have been straight up tired,
Of showing that I am capable, proving that I am worthy,
I think of every time I moved over the years and started a new job,It was the same old story, having to show that we aren’t monolithic,
And that basically people are people,
Most startling to me has always been how shocked,
The majority can be at the fact that we live well,
Love well,
Raise super kids,
And don’t want to be anyone other than who we are,
But that we aren’t going to allow anyone to stand in the way of who we are,
Or what we want or are trying to achieve,
It is a particularly slippery slope,
Because when you are as brutally honest as I am,
You are too often asked,
“Are you mad?”
Uh uh, just truthful,
Or the fact that people don’t know they are insulting you,
When they ask if your kids are athletes because they are tall,
And you have to tell them,
“No, actually but he is an honor student!”
What I have learned to do is stay real,
To me and to mine,
And try to maintain a level of,
Spirituality and reality, knowing all the time,
That it is what it is,
And people are who they are,
And all we can do is “Rep” our best…
Thanks Michelle!
Blessings,
angelia
Monday, August 25, 2008
Some Touch...
Are there ever times when a hug is like elixir,
Or a hand on the shoulder is better than koolaid?
Of course there is, everyone needs some touch,
I know so many people who I often think,
If they would only allow some touch...
Shells around them so hard...
Touching is healing,
I can remember the best way to calm my sons,
Was to rub their heads,
When they come home now,
They always want my hand on their heads,
I recall when my mother was dying,
She would sit next to me on the sofa,
Allowing me to moisturize her skin,
She was never one much for saying she needed anything,
So since her skin was so dry from radiation and chemotherapy,
She allowed me to place a concoction on her skin,
To 'Moisturize'
It was quite simple actually,
A bottle a Johnson's Aloe Baby Oil Gel,
Squeezed out halfway and Shea Butter lotion added...
But I would rub it on her flattened chest, from a double mastectomy,
Her arms, legs and back and she would literally coo,
I loved that because Mama wasn't much of a hugger and a kisser,
Since she has been gone, there are many women who fill the holes in my life,
And many of them hug me, kiss me, touch me when we are sitting side by side..
Which was startling for me at first, because after all, I am my mother's daughter,
But I got used to it,
Learned to love it, embrace it, expect it,
Sometimes I joke with my husband,
About how many women I kiss...
Because I learned that many of these women in their seventies, eighties and nineties,
Who I love and who love me,
Are older, but very much alive,
Aging does not change the need,
To feel a loving hand,
Or fingers on a scalp.
Some Touch is healing,
So reach out and touch someone you love,
It has a reciprocal value!
Love and Blessings,
Angelia
Schae's Story: A Woman's Transformation
12/01/2008
www.angeliavmenchan.com
Or a hand on the shoulder is better than koolaid?
Of course there is, everyone needs some touch,
I know so many people who I often think,
If they would only allow some touch...
Shells around them so hard...
Touching is healing,
I can remember the best way to calm my sons,
Was to rub their heads,
When they come home now,
They always want my hand on their heads,
I recall when my mother was dying,
She would sit next to me on the sofa,
Allowing me to moisturize her skin,
She was never one much for saying she needed anything,
So since her skin was so dry from radiation and chemotherapy,
She allowed me to place a concoction on her skin,
To 'Moisturize'
It was quite simple actually,
A bottle a Johnson's Aloe Baby Oil Gel,
Squeezed out halfway and Shea Butter lotion added...
But I would rub it on her flattened chest, from a double mastectomy,
Her arms, legs and back and she would literally coo,
I loved that because Mama wasn't much of a hugger and a kisser,
Since she has been gone, there are many women who fill the holes in my life,
And many of them hug me, kiss me, touch me when we are sitting side by side..
Which was startling for me at first, because after all, I am my mother's daughter,
But I got used to it,
Learned to love it, embrace it, expect it,
Sometimes I joke with my husband,
About how many women I kiss...
Because I learned that many of these women in their seventies, eighties and nineties,
Who I love and who love me,
Are older, but very much alive,
Aging does not change the need,
To feel a loving hand,
Or fingers on a scalp.
Some Touch is healing,
So reach out and touch someone you love,
It has a reciprocal value!
Love and Blessings,
Angelia
Schae's Story: A Woman's Transformation
12/01/2008
www.angeliavmenchan.com
It's A Small, Small World...
So many people have passed through my life,
Many I remember and cherish, though I haven’t spoken to them in years,
And may never again,
After living around the world, there are a lot of people and a lot of memories,
Yesterday, after church, I checked my email,
There was an intriguing topper,
Bookland, Paddock Mall…
I hurried to open it, because Bookland no longer exists, it was eaten up by the super bookstores,
However, from August 1988-August 1989, I was the Senior Assistant Manager there,
It was a small store, filled with books and the same patrons, mostly retirees with,
Many of whom become my friends, they often were looking for Eugenia Price and Tom Clancy books…I read many so we could talk,
However, I got many to read Alice Walker, Toni Morrison and Maya Angelou,
Books they might not have read and we talked about that,
It was also a nice time because I was spending that year in my home town after being gone for over a decade…
I also met some really cool workers,
One of them was Misty,
She was more than a decade younger than I,
But she was cool and we had fun, sharing the same sarcastic humor,
Well yesterday when I opened that email, it was from Misty,
She had even enclosed a photo, in over nineteen years she still looked the same,
She told me that she worked in the library, how cool was that…
And that she had picked up a copy of “Brown’s Possession”
She remembered the name and was almost sure it was me,
Because she saw my sons name on the dedication page…
I quickly confirmed it and she told me she had thought of me over the years,
Same here…
I love that,
How small this big world can be,
Lovely!
Blessings,
Angelia
Schae’s Story: A Woman’s Transformation
December 1, 2008
www.angeliavmenchan.com
Many I remember and cherish, though I haven’t spoken to them in years,
And may never again,
After living around the world, there are a lot of people and a lot of memories,
Yesterday, after church, I checked my email,
There was an intriguing topper,
Bookland, Paddock Mall…
I hurried to open it, because Bookland no longer exists, it was eaten up by the super bookstores,
However, from August 1988-August 1989, I was the Senior Assistant Manager there,
It was a small store, filled with books and the same patrons, mostly retirees with,
Many of whom become my friends, they often were looking for Eugenia Price and Tom Clancy books…I read many so we could talk,
However, I got many to read Alice Walker, Toni Morrison and Maya Angelou,
Books they might not have read and we talked about that,
It was also a nice time because I was spending that year in my home town after being gone for over a decade…
I also met some really cool workers,
One of them was Misty,
She was more than a decade younger than I,
But she was cool and we had fun, sharing the same sarcastic humor,
Well yesterday when I opened that email, it was from Misty,
She had even enclosed a photo, in over nineteen years she still looked the same,
She told me that she worked in the library, how cool was that…
And that she had picked up a copy of “Brown’s Possession”
She remembered the name and was almost sure it was me,
Because she saw my sons name on the dedication page…
I quickly confirmed it and she told me she had thought of me over the years,
Same here…
I love that,
How small this big world can be,
Lovely!
Blessings,
Angelia
Schae’s Story: A Woman’s Transformation
December 1, 2008
www.angeliavmenchan.com
Sunday, August 24, 2008
If You Don't Agree With Me...Then...
I chuckle sometimes at the absurdities of life and people,
My own mostly,
However one thing I try and usually am able to pull off is,
Respecting someone's decision to disagree with me...
Choose their own friends,
Not allowing it to affect us,
And generally to allow folks to dance to their own inner music,
I always remember when I was growing up,
There were people in my family, who if they weren't digging someone,
No one else was supposed to,
I didn't buy into that then,
Won't buy in now, to each his own...
The same is true of friends,
I have a cross section of friends, I love who I love,
I am very careful about not mixing up the wrong crew,
But I will always respect and honor my peeps,
And if someone can't get with that...
Well...
The same is also true when it comes to my opionions on,
Books,
Music,
Race,
Religion or any old thing,
I truly feel that differences are so attractive and since I love a good debate,
We can talk about what we don't agree and agree to disagree,
Or we can choose to talk about those things that we have in common or as the Germans say,
Die Bieden...
But please don't place conditions on a sister,
Needing her to make decisions about people, places or things,
Because of how you make decisions, it won't happen...
I will simply still dance to that inner music,
Going my own way and doing my own thing,
And allowing you to do likewise...
Love You Like Cake!
angelia
Schae's Story: A Woman's Transformation
12/01/2008
http://www.angeliavmenchan.com/
My own mostly,
However one thing I try and usually am able to pull off is,
Respecting someone's decision to disagree with me...
Choose their own friends,
Not allowing it to affect us,
And generally to allow folks to dance to their own inner music,
I always remember when I was growing up,
There were people in my family, who if they weren't digging someone,
No one else was supposed to,
I didn't buy into that then,
Won't buy in now, to each his own...
The same is true of friends,
I have a cross section of friends, I love who I love,
I am very careful about not mixing up the wrong crew,
But I will always respect and honor my peeps,
And if someone can't get with that...
Well...
The same is also true when it comes to my opionions on,
Books,
Music,
Race,
Religion or any old thing,
I truly feel that differences are so attractive and since I love a good debate,
We can talk about what we don't agree and agree to disagree,
Or we can choose to talk about those things that we have in common or as the Germans say,
Die Bieden...
But please don't place conditions on a sister,
Needing her to make decisions about people, places or things,
Because of how you make decisions, it won't happen...
I will simply still dance to that inner music,
Going my own way and doing my own thing,
And allowing you to do likewise...
Love You Like Cake!
angelia
Schae's Story: A Woman's Transformation
12/01/2008
http://www.angeliavmenchan.com/
Friday, August 22, 2008
My Book Thang...
Still raining ya'll, and I am loving it,
There have been a couple of power surges, but nothing much,
Just lots of rain and wind, and that has the ability to make me keep still,
And write...
I am done with Schae's Story: A Woman's Transformation,
My proofreader has it and will get it to me soon, then some editing will occur,
Working on a cover that's going to be different and driving a sister nuts!
But it's all good, because it is a part of MY Book Thang,
How I do...
Mrs. Black? is three quarters done and is...
Well lots of goings on, believe me...
However,
In all of this Is NO Not Clear Enough For You?,
Is holding it's own,
I promoted it so vigorously the first half of the year,
Wore myself out,
Going here and going there,
Selling books, giving away books,
Making it work,
Then I sat down, tired, but as life has it...
Putting in the work brings it's own rewards,
Just this week,
I was asked to promote Is NO on the radio,
While assisting with getting Black babies adopted,
My email was filling up with requests to do things,
In getting my word out, to let my young AA girls know that there are choices,
PRO and CON...
I knew going in to that one, I would take some whippings,
And I did,
But what I knew is that 'One has to bring a whipping'
'To get a whipping'
And I was prepared to do battle for what I believe in,
Always a SOULJAH...for the cause...
Because what I know for sure, is I might not do it like anyone else,
And I'm not supposed to,
Because this is MY BOOK THANG...
Blessings,
Shae's Story: A Woman's Transformation - December 1
Mrs. Black: March 1
Is NO Not Clear Enough For You? NOW
www.angeliavmenchan.com
There have been a couple of power surges, but nothing much,
Just lots of rain and wind, and that has the ability to make me keep still,
And write...
I am done with Schae's Story: A Woman's Transformation,
My proofreader has it and will get it to me soon, then some editing will occur,
Working on a cover that's going to be different and driving a sister nuts!
But it's all good, because it is a part of MY Book Thang,
How I do...
Mrs. Black? is three quarters done and is...
Well lots of goings on, believe me...
However,
In all of this Is NO Not Clear Enough For You?,
Is holding it's own,
I promoted it so vigorously the first half of the year,
Wore myself out,
Going here and going there,
Selling books, giving away books,
Making it work,
Then I sat down, tired, but as life has it...
Putting in the work brings it's own rewards,
Just this week,
I was asked to promote Is NO on the radio,
While assisting with getting Black babies adopted,
My email was filling up with requests to do things,
In getting my word out, to let my young AA girls know that there are choices,
PRO and CON...
I knew going in to that one, I would take some whippings,
And I did,
But what I knew is that 'One has to bring a whipping'
'To get a whipping'
And I was prepared to do battle for what I believe in,
Always a SOULJAH...for the cause...
Because what I know for sure, is I might not do it like anyone else,
And I'm not supposed to,
Because this is MY BOOK THANG...
Blessings,
Shae's Story: A Woman's Transformation - December 1
Mrs. Black: March 1
Is NO Not Clear Enough For You? NOW
www.angeliavmenchan.com
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
MRS. BLACK?
MRS. BLACK
“Cinnamon what are you going to do about Brown?” Cinnamon stood looking out at the lake surrounding her home. Malcolm Black, her best friend since high school and former lover stood several yards behind her, asking a question she wasn’t prepared to answer. She and William Brown had been married over thirty years and as with most marriages there had been ups and downs. Brown had been involved in a series of affairs, Cinnamon and Black had been embroiled in a love affair a couple of years ago. However, for the past eighteen months, she and Brown had focused on being faithful. It seemed Brown had fallen off the wagon. She had promised him almost two years ago that if he compromised their marriage again she would divorce him. She had also promised Malcolm she would be his wife if ever that occurred. He had been living a celibate lifestyle waiting for her.
Turning to him, she looked into his handsome, dark chocolate face. It saddened him to see the pain on her beautiful, face. He loved her more than anything in the world, but he wanted her for his own. He had warned Brown, his friend on more than one occasion.
“What would you have me do Malcolm? I have told him to leave our home and he has. Now I need some time to pray and ask God to guide me in this.”
“I understand that, but Cinnamon, you know how I feel about you and I want to marry you, make you my wife…”
“Malcolm, I know that and when I marry again, you know it will be you. But right now my life is crazy. My husband, the father of my children has decided to have another affair. The husband of the woman decided I needed to know, he also decided to try and blackmail me, once he heard about my books, so what I pray is that you're patient with me.”
“Are you considering staying with him, again?” She could hear the pain in his voice.
“No, I’m not, but I need to plan what I’m going to do. I've been married almost thirty-two years. I need to find a way to tell my kids. Aura probably already knows. As the premier attorney in Center City, she might. Muhammad is planning to get married in two months and though Amy is only two years old, she loves her Papoo. I love you Malcolm and a part of me wishes I had been a better woman two years ago.”
“Better how?”
“I wish that instead of having an affair with you, I had left Brown at that time, allowing him to carry on with Khadijah, but I thought I knew best. As stupid as it may sound, I really thought that when he gave up traveling he would be faithful. But, why would he? He has a wife who has looked the other way for decades, taking him back and forgiving him over and over, so now I finally have what I deserve. Not only that but I openly ran around with you and we're still close. My guess is Brown probably doesn’t believe we aren’t still sexual.” Walking over, he pulled the woman he had loved for almost forty years into his arms. Immediately she started crying. His heart broke, because it took a lot to bring her to tears.
“It would be nice if you waited until the ink was dry on the decree before you moved into my house.” Cinnamon and Malcolm pulled apart at the sound of William Brown’s voice. Malcolm stared at his friend, choosing to say nothing. Cinnamon walked over to her husband, getting close to his face.
“William Brown, this is my home, it was bought with Dubois money. Please give me my key and leave!” He flinched at her words, she had never mentioned the fact that the home they lived in had been hers when they married, that and acres of land.
“Cinnamon, Brown, I’m going to leave now. Cinnamon if you need me, call me.” Malcolm prepared to depart.
“That won’t be necessary Malcolm, William is leaving.” Looking from his wife to his friend, William Brown stood his ground. Malcolm nodded to him, placed a kiss on Cinnamon’s forehead, before he walked out.
“Cinnamon what are you going to do about Brown?” Cinnamon stood looking out at the lake surrounding her home. Malcolm Black, her best friend since high school and former lover stood several yards behind her, asking a question she wasn’t prepared to answer. She and William Brown had been married over thirty years and as with most marriages there had been ups and downs. Brown had been involved in a series of affairs, Cinnamon and Black had been embroiled in a love affair a couple of years ago. However, for the past eighteen months, she and Brown had focused on being faithful. It seemed Brown had fallen off the wagon. She had promised him almost two years ago that if he compromised their marriage again she would divorce him. She had also promised Malcolm she would be his wife if ever that occurred. He had been living a celibate lifestyle waiting for her.
Turning to him, she looked into his handsome, dark chocolate face. It saddened him to see the pain on her beautiful, face. He loved her more than anything in the world, but he wanted her for his own. He had warned Brown, his friend on more than one occasion.
“What would you have me do Malcolm? I have told him to leave our home and he has. Now I need some time to pray and ask God to guide me in this.”
“I understand that, but Cinnamon, you know how I feel about you and I want to marry you, make you my wife…”
“Malcolm, I know that and when I marry again, you know it will be you. But right now my life is crazy. My husband, the father of my children has decided to have another affair. The husband of the woman decided I needed to know, he also decided to try and blackmail me, once he heard about my books, so what I pray is that you're patient with me.”
“Are you considering staying with him, again?” She could hear the pain in his voice.
“No, I’m not, but I need to plan what I’m going to do. I've been married almost thirty-two years. I need to find a way to tell my kids. Aura probably already knows. As the premier attorney in Center City, she might. Muhammad is planning to get married in two months and though Amy is only two years old, she loves her Papoo. I love you Malcolm and a part of me wishes I had been a better woman two years ago.”
“Better how?”
“I wish that instead of having an affair with you, I had left Brown at that time, allowing him to carry on with Khadijah, but I thought I knew best. As stupid as it may sound, I really thought that when he gave up traveling he would be faithful. But, why would he? He has a wife who has looked the other way for decades, taking him back and forgiving him over and over, so now I finally have what I deserve. Not only that but I openly ran around with you and we're still close. My guess is Brown probably doesn’t believe we aren’t still sexual.” Walking over, he pulled the woman he had loved for almost forty years into his arms. Immediately she started crying. His heart broke, because it took a lot to bring her to tears.
“It would be nice if you waited until the ink was dry on the decree before you moved into my house.” Cinnamon and Malcolm pulled apart at the sound of William Brown’s voice. Malcolm stared at his friend, choosing to say nothing. Cinnamon walked over to her husband, getting close to his face.
“William Brown, this is my home, it was bought with Dubois money. Please give me my key and leave!” He flinched at her words, she had never mentioned the fact that the home they lived in had been hers when they married, that and acres of land.
“Cinnamon, Brown, I’m going to leave now. Cinnamon if you need me, call me.” Malcolm prepared to depart.
“That won’t be necessary Malcolm, William is leaving.” Looking from his wife to his friend, William Brown stood his ground. Malcolm nodded to him, placed a kiss on Cinnamon’s forehead, before he walked out.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Family Defined...
Family by definition is very clear and finite,
However, something I have learned and learned to appreciate is that family is a heart and soul thing…
Many times, those who become our family are not tied to us by blood, but how we feel
About them, how they feel about us, how we bond and treat one another,
For years I clung by my teeth and nails to the rigid family definition,
Making a lot of decisions about people, places and things based on that…
As such I lost out on a lot of amazing relationships,
What I had to discover is that I can love blood,
But not buy into, be accepting of or put up with any old thing,
Simply because a person is blood-tied to us does not in any way mean,
We have to buy into or condone their madness,
Or more importantly spend our dwindling time left on this planet, sucking up whatever they are putting out because of ‘feelings’ mostly of guilt,
What I had to learn to do was in some cases create family situations,
Spend time with people who value me,
Who I value,
Who only want from me some shared time,
Who aren't trying to control what I do based on what they can or can't do...
And have no problems with reciprocation…
It has not always been easy, but it sure has allowed me to have better relationships,
More equal encounters, leaving me with choices as to how I spend my time,
And with whom…
I will have to quote one of my mentees on this…
“Growing up is work!”
And as I told her…
“But it sure is worth it…ultimately!”
Blessings,
angelia
However, something I have learned and learned to appreciate is that family is a heart and soul thing…
Many times, those who become our family are not tied to us by blood, but how we feel
About them, how they feel about us, how we bond and treat one another,
For years I clung by my teeth and nails to the rigid family definition,
Making a lot of decisions about people, places and things based on that…
As such I lost out on a lot of amazing relationships,
What I had to discover is that I can love blood,
But not buy into, be accepting of or put up with any old thing,
Simply because a person is blood-tied to us does not in any way mean,
We have to buy into or condone their madness,
Or more importantly spend our dwindling time left on this planet, sucking up whatever they are putting out because of ‘feelings’ mostly of guilt,
What I had to learn to do was in some cases create family situations,
Spend time with people who value me,
Who I value,
Who only want from me some shared time,
Who aren't trying to control what I do based on what they can or can't do...
And have no problems with reciprocation…
It has not always been easy, but it sure has allowed me to have better relationships,
More equal encounters, leaving me with choices as to how I spend my time,
And with whom…
I will have to quote one of my mentees on this…
“Growing up is work!”
And as I told her…
“But it sure is worth it…ultimately!”
Blessings,
angelia
Friday, August 15, 2008
Tagged by Dera
I was tagged by Dera my additions are in italics!
angelia
Here’s the idea (you can copy this paragraph to use in your post):I am going to list three categories of books. 5 MUST Read Books, 5 Books on Your Nightstand, and 5 Look For These Soon. Keeping with the theme, I am going to tag at least 5 bloggers. They should put these same lists on their blog but SUBTRACT one book from each list and ADD one of their own. Then they should tag at least 5 more bloggers. It will be fun to see how the lists change as it goes around the blogosphere. Please come back to this post and leave a comment so I can see how the lists are changing as they go around the blogosphere. Since this is Book Buzz…please keep your lists to titles released in 2007-2009.
5 MUST Read Books:Them by Nathan McCall
Orange Mint and Honey by Carleen Brice
Song Yet Sung by James McBride
Seen It All, Dome the Rest- Pearl Cleage
Trading Dreams at Midnight by Diane Mckinney Whetstone
5 Books on the Nightstand:
Up Pops the Devil by Angela Benson
Blood Colony- Tananarive
DueFrom Harvey River by Lorna Goodison
Stand the Storm by Breena Clarke
Exorsistah by Claudia Burney
5 Look For These Soon:
House at Sugar Beach by Helen Cooper
The Hemingses of Monticello: An American Family
In Love With a Younger Man by Cheryl Robinson
Red Light, Green Light by Margaret Johnson-Hodge
The Million Dollar Deception by RM Johnson
angelia
Here’s the idea (you can copy this paragraph to use in your post):I am going to list three categories of books. 5 MUST Read Books, 5 Books on Your Nightstand, and 5 Look For These Soon. Keeping with the theme, I am going to tag at least 5 bloggers. They should put these same lists on their blog but SUBTRACT one book from each list and ADD one of their own. Then they should tag at least 5 more bloggers. It will be fun to see how the lists change as it goes around the blogosphere. Please come back to this post and leave a comment so I can see how the lists are changing as they go around the blogosphere. Since this is Book Buzz…please keep your lists to titles released in 2007-2009.
5 MUST Read Books:Them by Nathan McCall
Orange Mint and Honey by Carleen Brice
Song Yet Sung by James McBride
Seen It All, Dome the Rest- Pearl Cleage
Trading Dreams at Midnight by Diane Mckinney Whetstone
5 Books on the Nightstand:
Up Pops the Devil by Angela Benson
Blood Colony- Tananarive
DueFrom Harvey River by Lorna Goodison
Stand the Storm by Breena Clarke
Exorsistah by Claudia Burney
5 Look For These Soon:
House at Sugar Beach by Helen Cooper
The Hemingses of Monticello: An American Family
In Love With a Younger Man by Cheryl Robinson
Red Light, Green Light by Margaret Johnson-Hodge
The Million Dollar Deception by RM Johnson
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Don't Go For That!
One of the hardest things to articulate to people is to only hold themselves accountable…
It is hard, I grant you that,
But it is freeing…
What I mean by that is this,
People do to you what you allow,
If someone is disrespecting you,
There had to be a first time, now think back to how you handled it,
If you acted like it was okay, pretended it didn’t happen or turned the other cheek,
Until your head was spinning like that girl in the exorcist,
Then it happened again and a pattern of behavior was set,
Then months later when you go crazy on the person,
They are puzzled because they have become so comfortable with how they are behaving,
Thinking you must like it, you didn’t say anything,
So my unasked for advice is simple,
The very first time you feel dissed, maligned, underappreciated, overworked, whatever…
Part your lips and say something,
No cussing, histrionics or beat downs necessary,
At least not the first time…
It is amazing how it works,
They might not stop doing it, but they will surely stop doing it to you…
And just might think about it before they do it to someone else,
Because sometimes folks just don’t know until you hip ‘em to it…
I recall several years ago someone made a remark to me about someone of a different ethnicity than the two of us,
I kindly, gently but strongly asked them not to do that again,
They were a bit puzzled because it wasn’t a Black remark,
I patiently explained that my philosophy is this,
“If you talk to me about them, what will stop you talking to them about me”…
Hmmm….
Periodically they tell me that when they get ready to say something…
I jump in their heads, making them think about it,
My work was done,’
So remember the old saying, “Those who stand for nothing, will go for anything!”
Love and Blessings!
angelia
It is hard, I grant you that,
But it is freeing…
What I mean by that is this,
People do to you what you allow,
If someone is disrespecting you,
There had to be a first time, now think back to how you handled it,
If you acted like it was okay, pretended it didn’t happen or turned the other cheek,
Until your head was spinning like that girl in the exorcist,
Then it happened again and a pattern of behavior was set,
Then months later when you go crazy on the person,
They are puzzled because they have become so comfortable with how they are behaving,
Thinking you must like it, you didn’t say anything,
So my unasked for advice is simple,
The very first time you feel dissed, maligned, underappreciated, overworked, whatever…
Part your lips and say something,
No cussing, histrionics or beat downs necessary,
At least not the first time…
It is amazing how it works,
They might not stop doing it, but they will surely stop doing it to you…
And just might think about it before they do it to someone else,
Because sometimes folks just don’t know until you hip ‘em to it…
I recall several years ago someone made a remark to me about someone of a different ethnicity than the two of us,
I kindly, gently but strongly asked them not to do that again,
They were a bit puzzled because it wasn’t a Black remark,
I patiently explained that my philosophy is this,
“If you talk to me about them, what will stop you talking to them about me”…
Hmmm….
Periodically they tell me that when they get ready to say something…
I jump in their heads, making them think about it,
My work was done,’
So remember the old saying, “Those who stand for nothing, will go for anything!”
Love and Blessings!
angelia
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Fascinating!
As is known by anyone who rolls by Ramblings,
I am perpetually fascinated, bemused and confused…
And many times it’s by the simple little things that people do and or say,
I’m sure I have fascinated a few myself…surely…
What has me fascinated of late is how wrapped around the axle,
Caught up,
Involved in,
And enmeshed people are in other folks business,
It tickles me endlessly that people can speculate endlessly about,
Who is doing whom,
Or what is going on in that family or that house,
Et al,
I just don’t get it,
I am often wanting to scream out, “Who Cares”,
But I guess a lot of people care,
That is why tabloids,
Some television shows and the like are so popular,
Folks just want to get involved in it,
I guess it’s that old thing of folks being glad that someone else’s
Stuff is even more ragged than their own…If you don’t believe me test it for yourself,
Tell someone about someone who really has it going on,
Who are handling their business and how wonderful, you think they are,
There are some who will listen, comment, some will be genuinely interested,
However,
Tell someone’s dirt,
Make it as grubby as you can,
Embellish it to make it even mo betta,
You will hold a crowd, enthralled…honest…
Absolutely fascinating!
Smooches!
angelia
I am perpetually fascinated, bemused and confused…
And many times it’s by the simple little things that people do and or say,
I’m sure I have fascinated a few myself…surely…
What has me fascinated of late is how wrapped around the axle,
Caught up,
Involved in,
And enmeshed people are in other folks business,
It tickles me endlessly that people can speculate endlessly about,
Who is doing whom,
Or what is going on in that family or that house,
Et al,
I just don’t get it,
I am often wanting to scream out, “Who Cares”,
But I guess a lot of people care,
That is why tabloids,
Some television shows and the like are so popular,
Folks just want to get involved in it,
I guess it’s that old thing of folks being glad that someone else’s
Stuff is even more ragged than their own…If you don’t believe me test it for yourself,
Tell someone about someone who really has it going on,
Who are handling their business and how wonderful, you think they are,
There are some who will listen, comment, some will be genuinely interested,
However,
Tell someone’s dirt,
Make it as grubby as you can,
Embellish it to make it even mo betta,
You will hold a crowd, enthralled…honest…
Absolutely fascinating!
Smooches!
angelia
Monday, August 11, 2008
LIVING FULLY....
This past weekend was stunning in the losses....
Bernie Mac, dead at fifty...
Isaac Hayes at sixty-five...
And while they will surely be missed...
Bernie was the funniest of the funny...
Never met anyone who could turn a twelve letter cuss word into a laugh riot...
And Isaac Hayes, Lord, he was one of my faves...since I was a baby...
I was a mere baby, when I first heard, "I Stand Accused"
And I knew that was the ultimate love song,
But something we can take away from this is that life is to be lived...
FULLY...
There was a time when I believed in waiting for the occassion to do something,
Well a sister is over that...
I do the things I can and want to NOW...
Trips need to be taken,
Laughter need to shared,
Dances need to be danced,
And LOVE need to be made...
Because tomorrow is promised to none of us...
I just came back from spending a beautiful 30th anniversary celebration,
And that reinforced to me that we have to take those time outs regularly and do,
What fills us with joy and pleases those we love,
Because no matter how we slice it,
Life is short and when it's done, it's done....
Love and Blessings!
angelia
Bernie Mac, dead at fifty...
Isaac Hayes at sixty-five...
And while they will surely be missed...
Bernie was the funniest of the funny...
Never met anyone who could turn a twelve letter cuss word into a laugh riot...
And Isaac Hayes, Lord, he was one of my faves...since I was a baby...
I was a mere baby, when I first heard, "I Stand Accused"
And I knew that was the ultimate love song,
But something we can take away from this is that life is to be lived...
FULLY...
There was a time when I believed in waiting for the occassion to do something,
Well a sister is over that...
I do the things I can and want to NOW...
Trips need to be taken,
Laughter need to shared,
Dances need to be danced,
And LOVE need to be made...
Because tomorrow is promised to none of us...
I just came back from spending a beautiful 30th anniversary celebration,
And that reinforced to me that we have to take those time outs regularly and do,
What fills us with joy and pleases those we love,
Because no matter how we slice it,
Life is short and when it's done, it's done....
Love and Blessings!
angelia
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