HAPPY NEW YEAR!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! MAY YOU BE BLESSED AND LOVED....

2009 is upon us and I am ready, I have never felt as optimistic and as relaxed as I do pending this year, so much happened last year, some crazy stuff and some amazing blessings...things that changed me, changed the way I relate to people and the way I write books...When I started out, I didn't know what I wanted to do, I just wanted to write, but as time passed and I listened to my heart, I knew I had to write something that meant something, even if only to me...because otherwise it was just words on paper.

I know that I did that with Is NO Not Clear Enough For You and most importantly with SCHAE'S STORY: A Woman's Transformation. They were both such challenges...
Last December it took three revisions to get Is NO to work...
This December it took four for SCHAE'S STORY and when I got my first printing just days before a signing I discovered the typesetting was wacky...but I did what I knew to do...I talked to my readers and offered them new books when I got the typesetting straight....but blessedly they looked at me like I was crazy....so many said, 'I read for your messages', many did not even know what I was talking about...what I knew was that even though I knew they had gotten what I was trying to impart...and it made me realize that with all the craziness and mishaps, I was on the right path!

With all the craziness, I have so much to do in 2009...I am booked through January to do signing, readings or some bookstuff...God is Good! and I realize that the old saying, 'If You Do What You Love, It Will Never Feel Like Work' is true...
So may prayers for all of you is to stay in PRAYER and to find what you love to do and do it.

Love and Blessings!
angelia

http://www.angeliavmenchan.com/

The Newness 2009

I am sitting quietly, thinking about 2008...
Whew, what a year...so many changes, upheavals and triumphs,
Not just for me but for the world,
A new President with new ideas,
Economic crisis,
Wars and more wars...
But I have chosen to only see what is possible,
Because one thing I know for sure is that out of the ashes come growth,
I remember living in Oklahoma and the foresters would do what was called a 'Controlled Burns'
Acres and Acres of land would be intentionally set on fire...
For a few days after the burn, the air would smell of smoke,
The ground would be charred and burned,
Looking as though nothing could come of it,
But as sure as the sun comes up in the morning,
Very quickly the grass would grow,
The earth would smell fresh and green,
And we could all see the newness,
From this I take the message,
That sometimes, every now and then,
Things have to be burned all the way to the ground,
To be restored with freshness and newness,
This allows me to stay optimistic,
This and my faith,
Because without faith that everyday is going to be a new day,
And no matter what went on today,
Tomorrow will be better,
God only knows where I would be and what I would be doing,
So I am just going to stay faithful,
Prayerful,
And wait for the NEWNESS!

LOVE AND BLESSINGS!
angelia

SCHAE'S STORY: A Woman's Transformation and Is NO Not Clear Enough For You?
@ www.angeliavmenchan.com

To One's Ownself...

I will take a lesson anywhere I can get one...
This Christmas was so cool, for the first time in a long time I was pretty relaxed into it,
I gave gifts that were about the people I love, and was pleased to see their faces when they received them, I also received gifts that were clearly about me, I was so touched...and I had a lot of laughter and fun! So good...
But the lesson was inside me,
I am organized to a fault, always planning, thinking, showing up on time...
Believe me when I tell you this, I am not bragging...
It is just that one of the things I learned as a young girl, who at times was in chaotic situations,
Is that if one organizes, plans and shows up on time...life is easier, it gives one some control over their life and situation...
However as a woman I developed a bad habit,
And that is organizing, planning and showing up on times for other folks,
Only to realize they are not there when I get there,
And when they get there they are totally unconcerned about being late...
Wow...how nice that must be...
So the lesson I learned is this,
I know I will continue to organize, plan and show up for my ownself,
But, I am going to give it all I have to allow others to do their own thing,
In their own time,
And so long as it does not affect the outcome of my stuff,
Then so be it,
I always tell my family that in my next life I am going to be late and unconcerned,
They roll their eyes and give each other knowing looks...
Well I got news for 'em,
I plan to start in this life,
If not being late, I plan to be unconcerned...at least a little bit!
I am serious!
Honest!
Okay, I am going to try real hard....laughing at myself!

Love and Blessings!
angelia



SUPPORT BREAST CANCER RESEARCH AND READ A GOOD BOOK
SCHAE'S STORY: A Woman's Transformation @ www.angeliavmenchan.com

MERRY CHRISTmas!!

Are those not beautiful? Mench took those last summer when we were in Key West at a Butterfly Sanctuary...I love butterflies...plants...all things nature...

I just wanted to take this time to wish everyone a MERRY CHRISTmas and to say that it has been a joy to blog all year and hear what people feel and are thinking...

2008 has been the most challenging, yet best year of my life,

Overcame some stuff,

Sat some other stuff to the side,

Learned what real faith brings,

And the true meaning of family,

And most notably learned to be thankful and grateful, while still in the fire,

God is Good...

Love and Blessings and wishing all a Faith-Filled, Blessed New Year

angelia

and MAmm Productions,

Maurice, Angelia, Maurice II, Malik Vernon, Paschinita and Amira Jameela Menchan!

SUPPORT BREAST CANCER RESEARCH @

http://www.angeliavmenchan.com/

Blessed Lessons!

One of the biggest lessons I have learned this year is that all one can do is impart what is in,
One's heart and the way it is taken is up to the taker...
Many times here on Ramblings, I have done just that, rambled,
And someone will call and ask if I were peeking in their window,
Or if someone had told me of their situation,
My answer is always no!
Ramblings is oftentimes a place for me to just...ramble...vent...praise...or do self-therapy,
Period...
Not often but every now and then, I found myself, explaining myself, when there was nothing,
To explain,
And one of my resolutions for 2009,
Is to not try to explain what I meant, but to write whatever pours from my heart,
Mind and fingers as it is given,
Because only then am I being true to me,
I was told recently by someone I trust wholeheartedly,
Who I know loves me and has my best interest at heart,
Is that those messages that touch people, even if it makes them mad,
Are the good messages, because we all learn more from the hard to swallow stuff,
And no message will make anyone feel anything if it were not meant to touch them,
I know from myself, my greatest and most blessed lessons.
Come from the valleys and not the mountains,
So my goal on Ramblings in 2009 is simply to write,
Honestly,
As only I know to,
That is my blessing,
And Many times my lesson....

Merry CHRISTmas...

angelia

www.angeliavmenchan.com

Traditions...

Christmas tradition will change a bit for us this year,
We are ritualists in so many ways,
During the military years, we mailed gifts home on the same day every year,
On CHRISTmas Eve, the four of us would open a gift before bed,
And early the next morning the boys would get up before the sun and ride bikes,
Rollerblade, draw, make beats or whatever,
Then the four of us would have lots of food and hangout...
Wonderful memories,
Once we moved back to Florida the rituals changed,
We would do the Christmas Eve much the same, but Christmas day,
We would drive south to have Christmas with our families,
My sons had a bit of heartburn about that, though they love extended family,
They had become used to doing it a certain way,
As they aged, became men, they always found a way to take that ride with us,
However, this year is different, Deep is now a married man, with a baby girl on the way,
And they are out west, making their own traditions,
The Dean is slowing down, looking for what he wants to do with his life,
Start his own family and make traditions of his own,
So for the first time in thirty one Christmases,
Mr. and Mrs. Menchan will have Christmas eve alone,
Will get up together on Christmas morning, just the two of them,
Thankful for how far we have come,
How God has blessed us,
And grateful that though the nest is empty,
It is still filled with love and memories,
Because next year we will have that baby girl,
Amira Jameela Menchan,
And we will all start new traditions...

God is Good!

Love and Blessings,
angelia

SCHAE'S STORY: A Woman's Transformation and
Is NO Not Clear Enough For You? @
http://www.angeliavmenchan.com/

GIFTING...ONESELF!

Well good people we are one week from Christmas, and surely all of the gifts are purchased, made, baked….surely, giggling,
I am actually ninety five percent done, I am one of those Christmas geeks who plans and shops early, I pretty much know what those on my list love and want, and I am a believer in giving folks what they want and like, otherwise it is a wasted gift,
There is nothing like having something forced on you because it has been determined by someone it is what you SHOULD have…that ain’t cool…I know it is the thought that counts but is it not kind of thoughtless to give someone who is wishing for chocolates a bag of jawbreakers…anywho…
This year the best gift is having my children on their own and charting their own courses and of course the anticipated arrival of Amira Jameela Menchan!
But this blog is about gifting oneself,
2008 has been a doozy of a year, full of change, turmoil and blessings,
I started the year off, feeling really dark,
Not appreciating to the fullest all I had,
A lot of drama was playing out all around me,
And I found myself caught up…
But as surely as a flower will bloom after the freeze,
A series of events made me look at how blessed I was and with,
God’s help and a loving man,
I made it through,
There have been other upheavals and drama,
But I felt equipped and prepared when it came and as such was able to keep it moving,
So my gift to myself this Christmas,
Is to slow down a bit,
Enjoy all I have been blessed with,
Refuse to embrace drama and get caught up in stuff,
The week after Christmas my plan is to chill!
Read some books,
Drink coffee in the morning,
And the best cabernet I can afford in the evenings,
While napping occasionally and most importantly, remembering
To give praises and be thankful for the fact that I am still here!

Love and Blessings!
Angelia

SUPPORT BREAST CANCER RESEARCH – PURCHASE
SCHAE’S STORY: A Woman’s Transformation @
www.angeliavmenchan.com

SHE HEARS VOICES...

This past weekend as I was doing a reading, I heard my friend say,
"Where in the world does she come up with all these scenarios, I guess God has gifted her with words and she says them." I paraphrased a bit but that was the gist of it. She also said,
"When I read this I am astonished because I have known you forever and..." I was touched and pleased because I want to have folks who read my books ask those kind of questions and I have to say this;
I HEAR VOICES,
Don't get spooked out, it is really simple, the characters that I write about talk to me,
And I listen and respond by writing,
Sometimes there are so many of them up there jockeying for position,
I have to tell them the wait their turn,
At the book reading, many in the audience offered who they would love to tell their own story,
SCHAE was introduced in my first book,
Many want Alexandra Wilson's story told,
And some are dying to know more about Cinnamon's Aunts,
And of course Cinnamon's daughter, Aura's story is begging to be written,
Not to mention, Ava Green...
They are all talking up a storm, and I am listening and grateful,
That the voices are providing me with so much book food,
I will have filled plates on the table for years to come...
I love what I am doing,
And am so grateful that I have been blessed to have actual people,
Who want to read what I write, listen to the voices on paper and respond,
Positively,

SO BLESSED!
angelia

READ SCHAE'S STORY: A Woman's Transformation and SUPPORT BREAST CANCER RESEARCH @ www.angeliavmenchan.com

Generational Curses

This weekend my niece and I were talking about something and she said,
'We CAN break the Generational Curse'...my heart soared at her words, because that is exactly my message in SCHAE'S STORY: A Woman's Transformation...we can break the curse...
The curse on Schae's family was that the only way to have anything or be anybody is by being sexy, attractive and giving men what they want...many women and families are cursed by this,
I can remember cringing every time I heard a woman say, she could get this man or that man,
Or when it was all about looks or configurations...I was never sure why that made me uncomfortable, until I saw a young girl doing it,
She was about seven years old and she was talking to a group of older men,
She had her hand on her hip and was batting her lashes and flirting,
I was horrified and I knew exactly what she was doing, even though she didn't know it yet,
She was imitating and modeling the women in her life and most shockingly, the women in her life, looked proud!
One thing I was cursed with is the, 'you can't trust anyone curse and the you better tell 'em off good curse...'
I spent so many years in battle with people and missing out on really good friends because I didn't trust people and I allowed my tongue to lash out when it wasn''t even necessarry...
But, I learned and am learning,
Because I know for sure that CHANGE is a decision,
One that no one can make for us, but us,
It is OH SO INTIMATE AND OH SO PERSONAL,
But on any given day of any given week at any given time,
We can Break the Curse!

Love and Blessings!
angelia

WWW.ANGELIAVMENCHAN.COM

Do YOUR THING!

First I have to say, yes that is me, well over forty years ago,

Well over, my Aunt Alice finally let me take it, I had to make sure it hit the mailbox first thing this morning, anywho...

Looking at that picture, I had to ask what saved that girl,

And this morning I came up with three things,

Faith,

Love,

And doing my own thing!

I had faith, when I didn't even know what faith was,

No one ever really made me go to church or even to read the bible, but for all the years of my young life, I read Proverbs and II Corinthians faithfully, did not always understand what I was reading, but it carried me through some really tough stuff,

Today I have total faith that no matter what I go through God will bring me to it and through it...

The same is true of LOVE, the folks in my life who I am closest to LOVE me and I LOVE them, they don't love who they want me to be, who they wish I was, but ME and I feel the same about THEM...Loving involves tolerance, compromise, understanding and forgiving and sometimes it involves moving on...

And the doing my OWN THING, truly sustains me, when growing up, I was considered a strange girl...head always in a book, not very interested in makeup, looks or any of the more surface things, someone was always saying, 'If you would just put on some makeup or didn't wear your clothes so loose...' I usually had something sassy to say in return as I kept it moving...I knew me...So when I started writing I knew I had finally found my Thing...I'd had jobs, careers, and made decent money, but I had never done anything outside of my family life that had brought me such joy...in the darkest moments, after praying, I can write for hours and literally feel reborn....much of what I write will never see the light of day, but it has served it's purpose in getting me through...

One thing I know for sure, is that the people who have their OWN THING, are the happiest and most peaced out...because what one's own thing does is give them something to focus on that is always positive and renewing!

Blessings!

angelia

GET UR COPY OF SCHAE'S STORY: A Woman's Transformation AND SUPPORT BREAST CANCER RESEARCH @

www.angeliavmenchan.com

'

SO TOUCHED!

This past week was a roller coaster ride…for real,
However it culminated beautifully on Saturday,
I sat in a room with some loyal readers, family and friends,
And we celebrated the release of SCHAE’S STORY: A Woman’s Transformation,
We talked, shared, listened to a CD entitled Her Story written by Malik ‘DeepDuval’ Menchan…
I sold books, signed books and read several chapters,
Most importantly I relaxed, probably for the first time, completely into the blessing God has provided me with,
I published my first book January 2006 and for all this time,
I have held my breath, so concerned with opinions,
Who I would offend, who wouldn’t get it,
Held myself back with my own fictionalized truths,
But this weekend as I read my work, looking around the room at folks who had read,
All my work and a few who were new to me and I saw the rapt attention on their faces,
I knew it was time to let it go and let it flow…
I revealed bits and pieces of myself to people in ways I never had before and it felt right and good…So grateful…
One of the best moments for me was when KD walked in,
KD is a man in his seventies, who is close to members of my family,
Is a part of my family indirectly and I see him every time I go home,
He has had some awesome struggles, is still struggling,
However at Thanksgiving I tried to give him my newest book,
I knew twelve dollars was hard for him to come by…
But he said, ‘No Cynt, I am going to come out there to get my copy, I will get the money somehow…”
When I arrived in Ocala, Saturday morning, he came around to my Aunt’s and told me he would be there…
In the middle of a passage I was reading, he walked in,
He pulled his skull cap off, stood in the door in his old army jacket and walked up to the table and handed me a twenty dollar bill, my heart almost flew from my chest,
I signed it, he sat down for a minute, read a few pages, then he waved as he departed…
I can honestly say I felt really honored,
This man with so little had walked miles, with borrowed money to purchase my book,
I am so grateful…
I’ll be back tomorrow with more…

Blessings!
Angelia

SUPPORT BREAST CANCER RESEARCH and Read a Good Book
SCHAE’S STORY: A Woman’s Transformation @ www.angeliavmenchan.com

WHEW!

I am starting the Schae Tour today...feels good, and so timely, because it is about faith and change...
Yesterday was one of the best and most difficult ever,
There were conversations that took place and were so long overdue,
And though they were so exhausting, they were freeing...
It also made me realize that my motto is so true...
The Past Ends at Midnight and Everyday is a New Day,
Sometimes a new day can happen within the same day,
When I got home yesterday afternoon, I was so tired, could barely pick up my feet,
Had not eaten all day...not a bite...but I called my children,
Told them to tell me anything they wanted to say, ask for anything they wanted to ask for...
Af first they laughed, then the heard the tiredness in me...
I had to explain to them, that the world thinks they know who we are and what we are about,
They both laughed and told me 'Mama you tripping'....
I then told them one more time, I am open to all criticism and requests today...
So bring it or leave it alone henceforth,
They both told me they were grown men and was just fine, thank you very much...
Whew...
Then I sat down for a bit, still didn't eat, too much to do,
At four thirty my husband and I went to Gateway Bookstore...An AA Bookstore in the heart of the hood...owned by Activist Ms. Hughes, a former Black Panther, Harlemite and all around wonderful woman...she had told me earlier in the she wanted me to come back and meet with her partners, Drs. Bert and Judi Herring...
It was the most amazing meeting of my life, they have devised a program at Gateway books to tutor children in Urban neighborhoods and together we are going to work on a proposal for our children in the neighborhoods...I told them a little bit of my story...for the first time in a public arena, I truly exposed me, because I knew and God had shown me it was time...we sat up some meetings and I literally bounced out of there...
Finally, my man took me for a meal, we had our favorite spinach and artichoke dip and I told him,
'Baby if you got anything to say to me, bring it...I am open for it today...'
The waitress came by and rubbed my shoulder, even she could see how tired a sister was...
He looked at me with happy eyes and said, 'We straight'...
WHEW!

PEACE AND BLESSINGS,
angelia

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Purchase Schae's Story @
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The Good, The Bad, The Lesson...

This week has been one of the best and at the same time one of the most emotionally draining...
The best in that many good things have been happening with my writing and the promotion of it,
I waited for a long time to really promote what I did...and there were so many reasons for that,
As such as soon as I allowed God to guide my hand, I could do it...
However, as a believer and as I am often taught in church, one of the most difficult things to deal with is that the life of a someone on a spiritual path is often difficult and filled with ups and downs...this was such a week...
On Friday, one of my mentees, confessed something to me that I know I have to deal with,
But am unsure how and still praying about it...Something must be done...trials...
While all that was happening books were selling ....Blessings...
In the middle of the week, I had two phone calls from young people in my life,
And I had to take on the position of the teacher, the chastiser, I had to be as real as I could,
Out of love...and it was hard...tribulations...
More books were selling...work was going well...Blessings...
Yesterday, in many ways was the most blessed and the most cursed at the same time...
I wrote a blog yesterday morning, simply based on how I was feeling, needed to get it out there...
For the first time, I didn't temper it, it wasn't about anything but me and how I felt...
Every now and then I vent...
Well I hurt someone's feelings, badly enough for them to attack...
At first I was shocked, but later I was not as much, because after reading and rereading the blog,
I knew what had happened, I made something I was writing, totally about me...and the reader made it about them...and I guess that is why I have been so careful...in my writing and in my blogging...because what I want people to take from it is simply this,
A young girl who by no means other than her faith was able to get through some really, bad life experiences and come out on the other side, able to do things she loves and believes in, that girl is me...
There were so many things that happened to me and that I went through as a young girl, that sometimes I don't even believe it, and I guess what is most unbelievable for many is the path I chose and how I chose it...That is why I believe so strongly in mentoring, because I know for myself that if I could come through to the other side, anyone, everyone can...
One of the questions the Anonymous commenter asked was this:
What DO YOU have...and I knew that they had seen my saying God favors me as a material thing...but it wasn't about that at all...
What I have is faith that I can get through anything...belief that I am a survivor and can take care of myself...though I have been blessed with a partner...also God has given me the best gift of all and that is the gift of being able to get up every single day, knowing that even when I have messed up, he will forgive me and allow me to learn something from it, because faith has taught me that every day is a new day and every day God renews...THAT IS ALL I HAVE...
I always knew that life is filled with the Good, the Bad and the lesson...
And a lesson for me has been this...
In order to write, to touch, to grow...there are going to be somedays that is filled with weeds,
But as I tell my young people, if you pull the weeds, fertilize and water...beautiful plants can grow....I also tell them that the planting and tending, never ends....

Blessings,
angelia

Anonymous Blog Comments!

I have been blogging for almost two years and for the first time I was called out and told off on my blog...anonymously...actually it wasn't that anonymous...but for the sake of argument, let's say it was....
First I want to say why I blog,
Initially it was to get out information about my books,
But it later became a form of therapy,
For me, whether people comment or not, I blog...
And this morning driving in to work, I played over a conversation with a friend,
She had asked me why I didn't talk more about myself or my accomplishments and why
Finally I was doing Jacksonville...my home...in a big way for the first time,
I told her my reasons and I blogged about it...
End of story or so I thought,
So I was called out by someone who had it totally wrong, but that is okay...
And I knew it would happen today...
Because things had been so awesome,
Several events coming up...
And more on the horizon,
And into every sunny day, some rain will fall...
I thought about enabling my blog so comments could be checked,
And I said no,
I don't plan to do that,
I will continue to do it as I alway have done,
And as my son said, Purse your lips and blow it away,
And my niece, who said, Auntie suck it up, the more you do, the more this will happen...
They are correct and I am glad for it...

Blessings!

angelia

What You Get From It?

One thing we all know for sure is that in order to travel through this thing called LIFE,
We will go through some things…surely, you know that?
So it really isn’t a matter of if you will go through something, but when,
More importantly is what will you learn from it, if anything,
Because that is what trials are for, to teach us and reach us…
Sunday I sat down next to a beautiful sister in church, we serve together,
I knew who she was but didn’t really know her,
I knew she was a Breast Cancer Survivor and that is near and dear to my heart,
She introduced herself and I did as well,
She asked, ‘Are you that Angelia?’ I must have looked goofy, because she grinned saying, ‘The writer and the one who stops by the Pastor’s blog?’ Grinning back I said, ‘Umm Hmm that’s me.’ We chatted about a variety of things, mostly faith and books and she told me she was touched by my charities and support of Breast Cancer Research.
I told her about losing my mom and my open hand theory and how my mom’s death had changed me…made me vow to live and to give, fully…
She grinned again, such a beautiful, peaceful face…and said how her bout had changed her,
How the ‘Stuff’ that used to matter, like houses, cars and money had been reduced to it’s rightful place and how life, love and the spirit reigned supreme…she didn’t say it exactly like that but you all know I will play with words…anyway…nodding I concurred,
Because I remembered that day I stood at my mom’s grave, I told myself that no matter what life threw my way, I was going to stand on faith and do all the things that God had blessed me with the ability to do, and he has rained blessing on me, for real, for real…
There would be no more talking about it, but being about it…that is why I am not tripping about the economy or any other such thing, because what I know for sure, is that this is just another test, another trial and what will remain long after this has all passed is what we learned from it and how we took what we went through and made a difference in some small way…

LOVE AND BLESSINGS!

Angelia

SUPPORT BREAST CANCER RESEARCH AND READ A GOOD BOOK!
SCHAE’S STORY: A Woman’s Transformation @ www.angeliavmenchan.com

Who's The Mama?

I am telling you sometimes my children work me,

And I have a gang of them,

I have only given birth twice...and the last time was twenty-four years ago,

But in addition to them I have amassed a lot of children, all with who are...umm special,

There are my sons, my daughter in law, nieces, nephews, second and third cousins, and mentees,

And most of the time I can treat them like the special loves they are,

But errrrrrrrry now and then I have to, well, ummm go off!

Friday was such a day,

I was sitting with one of my children (mentees) over coffee and cake,

And she stepped on my last nerve,

Right there in Starbucks I brought it to her...we ended with love and her telling me how AWESOME I was but she felt me that day!

Today I had to go off on two of my children,

Two whom I can usually go easy on,

But today those children wanted to test a mama,

And mama brought it to them,

I was standing at the counter getting my USA today and when my phone rang,

I answered it and handled them and it, right there...usually I am pretty circumspect and down key but sometimes where it occurs is where the whipping has to take place,

Of course after I was done,

I told them how much I love them,

They were even laughing a bit,

But they left the conversation knowing,

Who Was The Mama!



blessings!

angelia

Treat it Special!

One of the messages I try hardest to impart to my mentees is to ‘Treat it Special’…
They always look at me crazy, shocked because they think I am talking about,
‘That’…
Well, I am and about everything else,
As I prepare to go on the ‘Schae Tour’, I know one of the resounding questions will be,
How does a woman get what she want, without compromising who she is,
And I will tell them, this ‘Treat it Special’…
People quite simply, value what you value…
If you value you and decide to treat everything about you as if it were special,
They will too…
I can remember a conversation I had well over thirty years ago,
I was standing at the bus stop, it was prom time and a friend told me she was going to the prom with a certain guy, but she was going to back out because she didn’t want to ‘be with’ him…
I was stunned, because I couldn’t wrap my seventeen year old mind around what going to the prom had to do with, ‘That’…she read the dumbfounded look on my face and said these words;
‘Well you don’t have to do it, but the rest of us do!’ I was stunned but of course I had a reply…
‘Oh no you don’t, on any given day at any given time, you can stop that madness and start treating it like it’s special…a prom date shouldn’t be about that!’ I don’t think she believed me, but I was telling her the truth as I knew it…
People, men, treat us the way we allow them to…
If we are sharing all of us with them, with no expectations of honor or respect,
Acting as if who we are and what we have is not special,
They will act accordingly,
However, if we treat it, us, ourselves as if we are the wonderful, beautiful, smart, got it going on beings that we are,
YOU HAVE MY WORD! I PROMISE…
They will treat it and you…as if it were SPECIAL…
I wouldn’t lie to you, love you too much for that!

Blessings,
Angelia

SCHAE’S STORY: A Woman’s Transformation now available @
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Don't Hold So Tight!

I have always been self-contained…
I can socialize with the best of them, love laughing until my side hurts,
But at the end of the day, week, year, I am a solo chick,
One of the things that confuse and make me come out swinging is when someone tries to,
Control or manipulate my actions…
I can recall as a young girl, my mom would often leave me to my own devices,
Because she knew she could trust me to do what I was supposed to do,
She also respected me, as a person, though I was her child, she expected me to have enough sense to make decisions, she never told me who to befriend, date, love because she knew she had raised me!
My husband also appreciates my need to be me and to sometimes go my own way, and blaze my own trails, he knows that I love him and his best interests are always first and he has to compete with no one or nothing for my time…
As my kids have become grown, they too respect my space,
If they call and I say I am busy, they say cool and when I am available then we can do something,
Those that know me, know that I will also treat them in kind,
I have no restrictions on my friendships, I feel that people should be close to whomever they chose and however they want to,
If a friend is rolling with someone, I don’t particularly want to roll with,
I simply say, ‘No thanks, not today, maybe we can do something later.’
The next time we can hang out do something,
And I absolutely need the same kind of space,
A sure way to turn me off and cause me to head for the hills,
Is to crowd me, make me feel I owe you something or try to make me feel beholden,
I am gone like the wind,
Because the way I see it, is there is enough of me to have diverse relationships and communications and for me to be with someone doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with someone else, sometimes it means I dig them, I dig you, but occasionally it is just a one on one…no harm no foul.
If I am RAMBLING here, it is because I am,
Sometimes, the only way to vent is to vent,
And that is why I love this blogging thing,
It frees me to do two things at once,
Write…
And Express what is rolling around in my head space…

Blessings,
Angelia

SCHAE’S STORY: A Woman’s Transformation NOW Available @
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Schae's Moving ON!

Malcolm sat in his office looking out the window, thinking;
"What in the world does this woman want? I know I led her on in some ways for over fifteen years, but I took care of her. I have never been happier. I have an awesome relationship with God. My family is in a great place, the Learning Center allows me to have children and my friendships are platinum. Whatever this is about, it better not be about any drama. "A knock at the door shook him from his thoughts.
Looking up he was startled at Schae's appearance. She was wearing her signature pink, but her Ann Klein pantsuit was a size fourteen and not the usual size twelve she had been squeezing into for years and her long-flowing tresses were still bright auburn but her clean face startled him. In all the years he had been involved with her, he had never seen the skin on her face. He could smell the signature Giorgio perfume wafting in ahead of her. Some things never changed and they shouldn't.
"Come in Schae. Close the door if it’ll make you more comfortable." Doing as he asked she glided over to sit in the chair across from him. "He is so handsome, still.”
“Hey Mr. Black, how are you?" His expression was calm but as cold as Siberia.
"Ms. Jackson, how can I help you?" Smiling slightly at his professional tone, she decided to tease him. It stung a bit that he didn’t seem to remember anything about her except her name.
"I just wanted to tell you I was pregnant and want child support." Unexpected laughter poured from his throat.
"Well, I'll do what I can to help you find your baby-daddy." Laughter poured from her throat.
“That won't be necessary. I just wanted to tell you thanks for all you ever did for me. You were a good man and good to me. I knew that what we had was just about sex for you but I cared, care about you, and I think there is no finer man, anywhere." She swallowed down a lump, blinking back tears.
“Schae, thanks isn't necessary. You and I had an arrangement. As I told you all those years ago, I was wrong to do all the things for you I did. Thinking back, I know it made it seem like there was more to it than there was. But, I have no regrets. When it was time to move on, I did. And all appearances indicated you did as well. What has changed?"
“I have, I no longer want to be anyone's affair. I need to get me together and I plan to. I have invested most of the money I’ve earned. Thanks to the generosity of others I'm doing real well financially. I'm even thinking about adopting Julius and Jeffrey, Barbara’s children. Mama's getting older and I want to be a mom, maybe even a wife, one day."
"That's cool. I think you will make a good mother and a good wife, to someone."
"But not to you?"
"No Schae, not to me. I love my life as it is. I wouldn't change a thing, nothing. But I’ll pray for you and I wish you the best." Her heart turned over in her chest, she still had serious feelings for him but her heart and gut told her she wasn’t a part of his life and never would be. She needed to know that.
“Do you really think I would be a good mom?"
"The best, you’re a nurturer and those kids couldn't be more blessed to have you. And I'm sure Ms. Geraldine will be pleased."
"Thanks Malcolm, I only have two regrets in my life. One is that I never had a child, the other being I wasn't a woman you could love."
"Don't regret anything Schaelonda. You can have children the same as I did, I adopted my nephews and those boys are my children, as well as the young men who come through here. Schae you and I were never meant to be any more than what we were. Pray over it and bury it. It's dead." Standing, she gathered her things, looking over her shoulder as she departed, she replied, “I know."

Character Identification

One of the most fun things about talking about my books with people is how readers feel about and identify with characters...
Last weekend a reader was telling me how she didn't like, 'Malcolm Black'...she said he was too removed...I loved that because he had made her feel something or in some way she identified him with someone else...
I also can feel when speaking to some of my sisters, how they identify with Schae, a few have come right out and admitted it...others are more reluctant and they will say, 'Oh I know a few Schaes'...
The most poignant conversations are the ones where I see how they are touched, moreso than what they say...
The best conversation thus far was with with a sister, who told me I had written her story...she went on to say this, 'I am not quite where Schae is but what you have done is written a blueprint for me to follow...' Lord, I was speechless...and so touched!
When writing my goal is to give 'em something they can feel, characters they can believe that will have them thinking about it later...I guess I have done that...
I also had to learn that people identify me with my characters...
I am hard pressed to convince anyone that Cinnamon Brown is not me...winking...
Once I discovered I could not change their minds, I had to change her behavior...THOSE WHO HAVE READ MY BOOKS, KNOW WHAT I MEAN....LAUGHING OUT LOUD!

So I said all that to say, I love the fact that folks identify with my characters and I know that this coming year I will have a blast as I maneuver my way around, talking about these people!

SO BLESSED!

angelia

SCHAE'S STORY: A Woman's Transformation NOW Available
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Writing...A LOVE THANG!

Writing for me is a Love Thang, for real...I could write all day and half the night and never run out of stuff to write about, I guess it's because I am a listener, observer, with spongelike tendencies...soaking up everything going around, knowing it has the potential to become a story or part of a story...
The other day, I was sitting in my office party at lunch, it was the day after the release of Schae's Story and I was tired, a good tired...had been mailing for days with more orders to go and my co-worker told me I looked tired but happy...smiling, I noted it was a good observation...
I was then asked how do I do it all...wife, mentor, job, writer, publisher, et al.
I said, succinctly, 'Writing and promoting my work is a love thang, I have had lots of jobs and careers, some have been better than others...but this is my thing...the contribution I have to offer, that brings immense satisfaction....
The next day, I was standing in the doorway of another co-worker and she asked, why did I ship books for free....I told her it was pretty simple, after printing the book, contributing to my charity of choice and mailing the books, I still make a nice profit, and if I can give something small, such as free shipping to those who have supported me, then more the better...she looked sceptical...and I explained to her my hands open theory, which is this....
"A HAND OPEN IN GIVING IS NEVER EMPTY...THE MORE THAT IS GIVEN, THE MORE THAT IS GOTTEN..." She smiled at me, shaking her head at my weirdness...I could literally read her mind, 'That's our Angelia, just as spacey as she can be...' It is what it is...but one thing I know for sure is this...'We all need a LOVE THANG or two'...

Blessings,
angelia

SCHAE'S STORY: A Woman's Transformation NOW Available @
www.angeliavmenchan.com Signed, free shipping and $1.00 donated to Breast Cancer Research

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Company You Keep...

Most parents talk to their kids about the company they keep, we all want our children to have the best associations possible and not get mixed in with the wrong crowd, and as parents that is what we should teach...
However, we have to be very careful in parlaying the message,
Because as I look around me, many people see that as a way to snub others, look down upon those who aren't doing as well as we are...or they are...
Surely, all we meant is to stay away from trouble and troublemakers,
But that does not mean to not reach out to those who are struggling, or who are in need or who are going through something...or have been through something...what we have to realize is that we just might be the catalyst of change or of acceptance they need...

Last week, I was in my hometown and I stopped by to see someone who I had known all my life,
She has had a pretty hard life, made some choices that weren't good for her and probably will make others...but she is in a transitional phase...she knows there are things she needs to do differently...and as she said to me, sometimes just having someone like me stop by encourages her...I was a bit taken aback by the someone like me comment...I needed her to explain that to me....she had no problem doing so;
'Girl U know what I mean. You are doing good, life is treating you well, but everytime you roll through here, you stop and talk. Most importantly I never see any judgment in your eyes, even when you see us caught up in something you wouldn't do. I appreciate that, we talk about you all the time...you still the same...'

That touched me, but I said, 'Of course I am the same, how could I be anything else, we all from this place and though we are all blessed in different ways, we are all blessed, we just have to understand that the blessings are different and realize that we need to do what we can, even if it is something as simple as conversation...'

She told me, 'Well most don't feel like that, many roll through here like they never ran up and down these streets barefoot...' I knew what she meant, but I also knew and told her not to take that personal because the only ones they are fooling are themselves and if anything can be learned from these global economic times is this, 'In the twinkling of an eye, all the 'THINGS' that separate us and make many feel better can all be swept away...and when that is all gone, we all need to be able to step back home and be accepted with open, loving arms...' She and I smiled into the others faces...embraced and I drove away, smiling at our conversation...

Blessings!
angelia

SCHAE'S STORY: A Woman's Transformation NOW Available @
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CAN A SISTER CHANGE?

Schae Jackson spent thirty years of her life believing the hype, she knew at fifteen she was pretty and had something the men loved. She had been raised to get money and she did. Ironically, she was also a smart savvy bank manager, but that never seemed to be enough…her conditioning had been to earn the money and get the money, and she knew as long as she was beautiful, fine and funny she could do it…
However, one day she woke up, realizing that she was now well into her forties, no children, no man of her own and surrounded by all the finery money could buy…so why the heck did she feel so lost, so lonely, as if she had wasted so much time…
Schae had to admit to herself that she had been sold a bill of goods, she had to realize that only what God brought was lasting and sustaining and that all of the designer clothes, fancy cars and rich men in the world could not fill her soul…she knew it was time to change…but would they allow her…
The men can’t accept the change, they are convinced she still has a price, and they are willing to pay it…
Friends and family are struggling with the transformation…surely the ultimate get money girl, can’t even dream about giving up easy money…
But Schae knows the truth, she knows that God is trying to tell her something and that she had better listen….the time is now…
But will she be able to change, will the world allow the changes, or will she get caught up and decide it is easier to do what she has always done before….only Schae knows, and you can find out….

SCHAE’S STORY: A Woman’s Transformation….NOW AVAILABLE…
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LOVE AND BLESSINGS!
Angelia

It's A Choice!

Over the past few weeks, I have spoken to people I really care about, who have chosen, yes you heard me, chosen…to be miserable, mad…whatever…and they can’t see how they are only harming themselves…
Something that puzzles me is how completely wrapped around something a person can become, when they KNOW, I mean absolutely unequivocally know, that they can do absolutely nothing to change a thing…but they fuss, toss, turn and literally moan about,
Makes no sense to me…
I have to say…the election is over, if your party did not win, you will have to wait four more years…staying up all night and talking to people about it won’t change a thing…the only thing that can change is how you deal with it…
If someone you love has done something and moved on…you will have to move on as well…chances are that person is gone for good and is not up at night pacing the floor, worrying about what you are doing, they are out enjoying life…you are going to have to also…or spend a lot of time sad…
If your children are grown and are making their own choices and are not asking you to support them, then they are entitled to do it their way, much the same as you did, and if you are supporting grown people and aren’t getting what you want out of it, then stop it already…the only way to be grown is to be grown…and surely there has to be an easier way to spend your money that brings you some satisfaction…food banks are in dire need…
If your friends don’t agree with everything you say, then that means they are independent thinkers who bring something to the table you don’t have, which is what makes friendships and life interesting…maybe I am way off course here, but everyone is an independent thinker and are entitled to their own opinions…surely having a different outlook isn’t a deal breaker for a relationship…is it?

Someone was recently telling me how unhappy they were with changes that had taken place and how happy everyone else was. It moved me to ask, this, “Before the changes, when you were happy, how did they feel?” I saw a light go on, this person had never stopped to think that while they were having their ‘light’ moments, that others were in the ‘dark’…that is how life is, some days are filled with light, some days are filled with some darkness, but everyday that we are allowed to breathe, love, feel…is a good day.

LOVE AND BLESSINGS!
Angelia

SCHAE’S STORY: A WOMAN’S TRANSFORMATION NOW AVAILABLE!
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