BON VOYAGE - NANA TIME!

I am going to see my children, Princess Amira J., King Malik and Queen Pasch, while there my goal is to love them, spoil them, wait on the hand and feet, because that is what Kings, Queens and Princess'....(especially Princess' deserve) Please cover us in love and PRAYER...

angelia (nana) (mama deep)

www.angeliavmencha.com

AMIRA ONE DAY...

SHE'S HERE!

GOD IS SO AWESOME!

AMIRA JAMEELA MENCHAN.................YES!

BOOK EXPECTATIONS...

I am always curious about expectations,
What we expect from others,
What they expect from us,
And do any of us have the right to expect anything of anyone,
Hmmm…
Right off the bat, I am going to say at a minimum,
We shouldn’t expect anything we aren’t willing to give,
But this morning I am going to talk about BOOK EXPECTATIONS,
What is it we expect from the books we read,
If I am reading for work,
And I read a lot, much of what I do is read to stay abreast,
Of federal law, regulations and the like,
Then I want concise, clear information that is practical and applicable to what,
I need,
So that I can pass it on in the same manner,
When reading for pleasure,
I want a story that engages, entertains, potentially inform,
That will make me want to know what else is going to occur,
Take me away, so to speak,
When I am reviewing,
I don’t expect anything,
Absolutely nothing,
Going in I assume nothing,
I will allow the book to do what books do,
Tell it’s story,
Then as I read it I will look for,
Readability,
Plot,
Pacing,
Editing, etc.
Then I think about it,
And sometimes read it again,
Then I write my review based on that…
I guess that works for me, because that is my approach to most things,
Assume nothing and come out pleased and appreciative when it works,
But able to go on to the next book when it doesn’t…
Weird chick, huh?

Be Blessed!
angelia
WWW.ANGELIAVMENCHAN.COM

What Color are their glasses!

Sometimes I want to ask people what color are their glasses…
By that I mean, it seems that sometimes we choose to paint the world as we see it,
Not as it is,
Rose colored glasses people tend to want to paint everything rosy,
Can not and will not deal with anything that doesn’t look pretty…
Navy blue colored glasses people tend to want to paint everything dark blue,
Can not accept or deal with the fact that things aren’t all gloom and doom and that every
Thing isn’t out to get them…
Maybe that is why my glasses are untinted…and make my vision 20/20,
Because I want to see clearly,
Praying all the while that I will be able to see roses,
And the blues, in all their colorful beauty...
Because that to me is called living,
Upping and Downing,
Toing and Froing,
Living and Learning...

I am unsure if I would be able to appreciate the smell of fresh roses,
If I hadn’t managed to live through the manure that nurtured them,
I guess my highs feel so high,
Because I bounced back from some low, lows,
But that is just me, running round in clear glasses,
With a half full glass in my hand…

Blessings!
angelia

Who's Responsible?

I remember when I was growing up, everyone was responsible for me,
Everyone….
My mom gave birth to me and raised me,
She taught me how to stand up for what I believed in,
To earn my own way,
And to love fiercely…
There were so many people who had input and shaped me,
My grandmother taught me patience, service and kindness,
She thought everyone deserved a chance and she fed more people than any soup kitchen,
And made us serve...
My Aunt Elouise taught me practical things,
No-nonsense lessons about how to handle my business,
To have as little debt as possible and to save,
My godmother taught me to embrace my inner self,
The good, the bad, and the real,
My cousins taught me to read by age four,
They were four years older and sat me in a chair,
With a pencil, a pad and a book,
My first grade teacher taught me humility,
After reading the whole book,
She popped me for telling people,
Telling me it was a good thing,
But showing off was not cool,
My second grade teacher taught me,
To stand up and handle myself publicly,
She made me perform in every play my elementary school ever had,
And the list goes on…and on and on…
And that is why today as I wait for,
Amira to be born, my first GrandChild!
The one thing I know she has is a village, a battalion of people who have her best interests at heart,
Mom and dad who love her,
Paternal grandparents, married over thirty years,
Maternal grandparents married almost twenty-five,
Paternal grandparents married over sixty years,
And a host of uncles,
Cousins,
Great aunts and uncles,
And some great, greats…
Who are waiting to be responsible for her,
With love…

BLESSINGS!
Angelia
AMIRA JAMEELA MENCHAN – February 24, 2009
WOOP

A LITTLE SOMETHING ON THE SIDE...

In this day and age we all need a little something on the side,
A little something to tide us over or to fill in for what we aren’t getting from our main one…
Umm hmm…
Now that I have your attention,
All I mean is a side gig…you guys!
Anyway,
This is a good time to sharpen some long dormant skills,
If money is tight, and it seems to be these days,
We can all do a little something, something,
To help bring in income,
For those of us who write in addition to our main thing,
We can all utilize some of those skills to earn extra,
Colleges and schools always need tutors, proofreaders, editors…
For others of us, if you can sew,
Prom time is coming,
Start advertising your skills,
A vogue pattern and nice material and a beautiful prom dress is born,
For half the price,
The bakers amongst us can always bring in a few bucks,
Cookies and cupcakes are cheap to make,
Everyone loves them and they sell like umm…hotcakes…
Speaking of cooking,
If you know how to roast a chicken, sauté some veggies and add wild rice,
You can prepare meals for working mothers,
Who will gladly stop by and pick it up on the way home,
You have done something you love,
A family has a wholesome meal,
And you have earned extra money…
Hello…
I tell you this, because I have done some of those things,
When money was tight…
God gave me the ability to do some things,
And do them I have and will,
I always have a backup plan for when the bottom falls out,
We are all told that God will provide,
And he will, he provided us all with something that we can do,
While doing something else,
In order to make it through…oh yes he did…
So what is your something on the side,
Come on fess up,
I promise I won’t tell your main thing!

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GIFTED...

We all know in this world that it is better to give than to receive, but receiving is nice,
I kid you not and I love a gift of love, that has to do with the person,
On Wednesday, Nik, walked into my office handing me a bottle of vegetarian iron tablets,
My heart turned over in my chest and I told her, 'What a loving gift...' She smiled at me...
A few months ago, we had been talking about needing iron and we both admitted we didn't take traditional iron tablets because of some side effects, she told me she was trying something new her internest had given her...
So, wednesday after several weeks of taking them, having an appointment and getting a thumbs up from her physcian she gave me a bottle...so Gifted...

When purchasing gifts, cards or anything I always try to make it about the person,
Because I know anyone can just pick up a gift,
But to give with love takes thought, planning and caring about the recipient,
People have asked me how after more than thirty years my husband and I can still gift each other,
I told 'em it is pretty easy,
We know the others loves,
My man loves a gadget and I can look at his face when one is advertised and know to go there,
I love scarves and shawls, have oodles,
But my man will spend hours in the shops until he finds the one that defines his woman,
He gave me this wool/cashmere one recently and I want to sleep in that thing...
Feels so good...Gifted...

One of the best gifts of all is the gift of time and paying attention...listening...
Sometimes there is no better gift in the world than having someone you love, spend time with you,
Pay attention to you,
And listen to you,
And it is a good gift to give...GIFTED...

LOVE, PEACE...BLESSINGS***
angelia

BOOKS BY ANGELIA VERNON MENCHAN @
www.angeliavmenchan.com
http://acvermen.blogspot.com

HANDLE YOUR BUSINESS!

One of my favorite phrase of all time is;
‘HANDLE YOUR BUSINESS…’
That means so many different things and sounds so simple but it isn’t,
Because how one handles one’s business determines much…
Last night, riding home from church, I checked my ever present phone,
I have blackberry issues, but that’s another blog for another day…
Anyway…
I wanted to know if I had heard from my son and daughter in law,
The baby is overdue,
And one of my mentees had gone for a funeral,
And I was mad concerned about her,
But with both these young people,
I could rest in the comfort of knowing if there was something I needed to do,
They would tell me, because, they are business handlers,
For real, for real,
Yesterday, I checked my email and there was a request from a local college,
And letter of recommendation was needed,
Another one of my mentees was enrolling,
And had not even had to ask me to do it,
She knew that if she handled her business,
I would handle mine,
On the other hand I watch all these young people,
With so much potential and so talented,
Allow business to handle them instead of the other way around,
And they gravitate from pillar to post,
Job to job,
Relationship to relationship and it saddens me,
Because one of the sure fire ways to have something sustainable is to hang in there,
God’s biggest blessings are reaped in the going through,
Every job is not a great job,
But if it feeds, clothes and shelters you and no one is harming you,
Then the job has handled it’s business,
The same is true of relationships,
If you bring yourself to it,
And someone else brings themselves to it,
Then there is sure to be stuff,
Because that is what happens when people mix it up,
Some days it’s so good you can die,
Other days, you want to kill,
But the real is that it takes much business handling to make a thing work,
And if one wants it then business handle they will…
A young person who had never been to college and wasn’t going once asked me the recipe for success…
I told her this,
Get a job, any job,
Show up on time, keep your skills sharp, be respectful and presentable,
Work as though your life depended on it and you will be amazed what can happen,
Also only purchase things you can afford as you can afford them,
Save your money with your eye on the future, while occasionally treating yourself,
Don’t mire yourself down in debt, cause the Jones’ probably had to start somewhere also,
Don’t have children before you can properly care for them,
When looking for a partner,
Find someone of like mind who is as interested in you as you are in them,
And who is about business handling as well…
And who will work with you,
And struggle with you
And reap with you…
While keeping God in charge of it all,
It is amazing how successful you will ultimately be,
And all you did was handle your business…

Love, Peace and Blessings!

Angelia


www.angeliavmenchan.com

Write or Die Woman!

I love to write, love it, I guess if you are reading this,
My love for writing is pretty clear,
But even more I love having feedback and engaging in conversations about my work,
Yesterday, a friend told me her fiancé was done with my book, loved it and wanted to talk to me about it, I can’t wait…I really want to hear the upper-middle class white male view of SCHAE’S STORY…that will be a first…can’t wait to tell ya’ll what he says…
On Friday, I spoke to my aunt and she told me how proud she was of my stories,
She told me that I wrote about real life…and she appreciated that…
My throat was swollen, because for me that was my mother’s voice through her,
My mom has been gone for over six years and never saw any of my books in print,
And I have always visualized taking her with me to book signings,
I can see her now, in a red pantsuit, with her honey golden skin and bright silver ‘fro, saying,,,’That’s my Angi!”
Then to further let me know I was on the right track, last night as I was preparing for bed, I checked my phone and there were two emails about SCHAE’S STORY…
One told me how much she was enjoying it and talked about my ‘men’…
When I write about brothers, my goal is always, no matter how flawed they are to make them human, real men, men who are about something, I know those brothers and if no one will tell their stories, I sure will…
Another reader thanked me for writing a story she really enjoyed and also let me know that some of what I wrote was helpful to her…that is as good as it gets…
I am so grateful,
To be able to do something I truly, truly love,
And to have people embrace it and be willing to share that with me…

SO BLESSED,
Angelia

BOOKS BY ANGELIA V. MENCHAN @
www.angeliavmenchan.com
http://mammproductions.blogspot.com

EVOLUTION, ANYONE?

I often ask myself is it possible for evolution to take it’s natural course,
Now I don’t mean that kind of evolution,
But the evolution of allowing things to evolve…
Scenario:
New person comes to office, before lunchtime, a few people have stopped by to fill the person in, give them the 411 if you will,
They can not wait for the person to get his or her feet wet,
Be allowed to sit still, letting the natural course of things occur,
Uh uh, heck to the no…
They have to fill it in…
Tell it all, open all the closet doors, kicking the skeletons out for all to see…
What is up with that…
I can remember ten years ago, when I came to this office.
Within the first day, someone tried to fill me in,
Hip me to what was,
I kindly, gently, yet firmly told them,
“We will see, I like to take my time, form my own opinions…”
She and I laughed years later about that and how she wished had taken that path…
A few days later another woman decided to give me personal info on coworkers,
Before she could get very far, I asked her why?
Her response was so that I could know what I was dealing with!
I informed her that I hadn’t come to work to get married, or to find best friends,
All I cared to know was could they handle their business,
While at work,
Otherwise I wasn’t interested,
That set the tone of our relationship forever…
Thank God!
For the life of me I just don’t get why folks can’t simply mind their own,
Allowing others to mind their own…
Giving people credit for having enough sense,
To ultimately figure it all out…

Just Wondering, if anyone knows, Holla!

Smooches!
Angelia
www.angeliavmenchan.com

You Expect What?

I love listening and talking to people,
I also love discovering what people expect from other people,
Fascinating...
Sunday I was in a conversation, three women were talking about Valentine's Day,
One was incensed about what she had received, not that she hadn't received but what,
I asked what had she expected,
Rolling her eyes, she told me,
I asked had she told him, again she rolled her eyes, saying, "He should know"...
Okay...
I then asked what had she bought him,
This time her eyes almost rolled out of the sockets as she answered, 'Nothing'...
I am absolutely astonished that my sisters feel Valentine's Day is only about them,
And Expect amazing things and give nothing...
Wow...

The other day I was reading a question online,
The question being 'Did authors Expect members on online groups to purchase their books?'
The answers were fascinating...
Many authors did, though they tried to cover it up with fancy language,
My answer was simply this,
I think when a writer is a complete novice,
They might think that, but very quickly, they learn that it is not so,
And rather than be mad or bitter,
They can hunker down and learn something,
Also they might need to ask themselves,
If they have bought every book from all the other authors,
If not why do they expect the reverse...
Just wondering,
I have learned that I can't and shouldn't expect anything from anyone,
And I especially should not have expectations of those who I do nothing for,
It just doesn't make a lot of sense to me,
But I will also advise that giving should be pure,
Not because there is an expectation of something...
But because your heart lends to giving...

Love and Blessings!
angelia

I LOVE, LOVE...HAPPY HEARTS DAY

I love, love...
I do, I do, I do,
Yesterday I was talking to someone about that and they cynically said,
'It is because you have so much love in your life'...
To that I say WOOP!
WOOP, is a phrase I share with my youngest son, when texting,
When we are done, Woop it is...Love...
When my oldest son comes by, he always leaves with something,
Even if it is the chocolates I didn't need anyway,
Love...
In the evenings, after a ten hour day,
And the news,
My man and I doze on the sofa,
Waking periodically, to glance at the television,
Read a paragraph in a book,
To sip a drink of water,
Or sometimes to laugh at the other for snoring,
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE...
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day,
Which I also Love,
And always get something for my Love,
And he for me,
But we both know that is not what it is about,
Trying to show all the love we have in one day,
We do our Black Love thing all day, all month, all year,
Even when fussing,
But we have chosen,
To still do little celebratory things on designated days,
Not because the media tells us to,
Or we have been neglectful,
But because we want to, choose to, like to,
And I love a nice card, and some,
Really good chocolate creams...yumm

HAPPY HEARTS DAY TO ALL OF YOU...

BLESSINGS!
angelia
www.angeliavmenchan.com
http://acvermen.blogspot.com

THE TRUTH, THE TRUTH IS ON FIRE...

Yesterday was one of those days when the only thing that worked was the truth,
One of my friends, real friends, and coworkers came into my office and we talked about what should happen and does happen, in regards to the workplace…to know what should is a part of my job...when it comes to business, I am all business, friendships notwithstanding, so I told her as it was in regards to some issues…she squirmed a bit,
Tried to explain a way a few things…but I was taking no tea for the fever, it was business truth and truth never changes…we may not follow it or believe it, but it doesn’t stop it from being the truth….

Later on I was sitting at home working on my taxes…and my buddy, Bev was online reading my blog, she catches up in batches…too busy for her own good…Love you girl, and I am a fine one to talk…anyway…
After each blog, she would email me a note…
In one she told me that she was glad I was being me and allowing the truth as I know to flow from me…she also cautioned me by saying, ‘Everyone is not receptive, once you start saying it as it is…’ Don’t I know it,
But I told her this, ‘I will say what God places in my mouth to say and if he has provided me with this forum in which to say it, say it I will…and for those who have issue, I will love and pray, cause that’s all I got…’
When I started doing this, I wasn’t even sure what I was doing,
Until one day someone had the audacity to say it was one of my ministries…
That felt funny,
And still does, but once I heard it enough,
I said okay, then if I am going to do this,
As I know and as it is provided to me…

Last night at church, we had a guest Pastor and talk about truth,
Oh my goodness, he brought it,
Unfiltered with no sugar coating to make it go down smooth,
Just the holy truth that was enough to set us all free,
Any of us who was willing to see ourselves and make a determination,
To get past our brokenness,
And work on clean fresh slates,
No matter what anyone has to say about it,
What a Blessing that was,
And as always the Truth is the Truth!
So help us!

Love, Peace and Blessings!
Angelia
WWW.ANGELIAVMENCHAN.COM
HTTP://MAMMPRODUCTIONS.BLOGSPOT.COM

Tighten Up Your Game!

Game tightening is a necessary thing in this day of firings, layoffs, downsizings and the like,
Everything we bring had better be on point and critical to the mission,
Otherwise…
I can remember when my husband was active duty military,
Every time we moved, I had to reinvent myself,
Learn a new skill set, take a class, reinvent the wheel,
And work my butt of when I got the job,
Because I had no intentions of leaving the job at the same rate of pay as when I started,
I knew that a tight game was necessary even when things were flush,
As such that lends to some concern for a lot of people,
Because the understanding that game tightening might mean doing without,
Yes, you heard it here, to survive economic down times we might have to do without some things, prioritize our wants over our needs and save like the old days,
Even when we don’t have much to save,
I was so proud the other day when talking to a young person in my life,
She spoke of saving to buy furniture,
Not renting it and overpaying,
Or placing it on a charge card and way overpaying,
But literally paying,
She went on to say that she needed a laptop for her side business,
The one in addition to her real job…(you know mama loves a side job)
Anyway,
So she had almost saved enough to get it,
Sweet,
But within that same day,
I spoke to another young person who whined about how bad things are,
Had no job, had had many jobs however,
And was mad because mom and pop,
Were not inclined to hand out anymore handouts,
And thinking about these two,
I knew what made the difference was game tightening,
And expectations,
Young person #1 had been taught that once grown,
They were on their own, had to pay their own way,
And that there were no free lunches,
Young person #2 truly felt the world owed something,
And had spent years going hither and yon when things didn’t go their way,
Living as if money really did grow on trees…
Well if it did, my children,
The trees are now barren,
And we are all going to have to tighten up our games,
Along with our belts to survive this thing,
So find something you love doing,
Find out how you can add to your bottom line,
With it and until it is enough to handle all your business,
If you still have a day job,
Keep it….

Love and Blessings,
Angelia

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To Say or Not To Say?

I have had or heard a lot of conversations that made me cringe and think;
‘That didn’t need to be said…’
One of the funniest was when I was talking to someone and it was noted that what they
Were talking about had nothing to do with them,
And I was told,
‘It is my business if I am talking about it…’
Well excuse me, I didn’t even know the criteria was that narrow…too funny…
Anyway…
Because I know that no one’s business is my business, but my business,
I choose to say nothing, often,
I guess it is that old adage that Grandma taught us,
‘If you can’t say something good, say nothing…’
Now, I tell you I had to learn this and relearn it,
And sometimes, I will slip up, then smack myself for even going there…
Also, I have to be careful, because often I will say something that doesn’t mean anything,
Other than what I said, but because of my cut and dry directness, it can and has been misconstrued, so I stay quiet…
Another case is when I just can’t say anything,
You know the times,
Try as you might, there is nothing good to say about a situation,
You roll it around in your head,
Let it rest on your tongue,
Practice saying it silently in front of the mirror,
Then you swallow it down,
Because you know that no matter what,
There is no way to make it sound any better than it is,
And rather than hurt or maim,
It is best to plead the fifth,
Hold your peace,
Do not part your lips,
Relax and let it go,
Trust me on this,
You will feel better,
Sleep better,
And get along better,
Because we can all think what we want,
But once we give voice to it,
It is out there…
Trust!
Shhhhhhh…

Love and Blessings!

PURCHASE RAMBLINGS: A Booked Blog and
HELP PURCHASE A MAMMOGRAM…
http://mammproductions.blogspot.com
www.angeliavmenchan.com

EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

Beauty, truly is in the beholder and we can always find it, if we are looking,
I have been accused of finding beauty where none exists, I don’t mind that accusation at all, because there is something beautiful in everyone, and in this case, I am not even going deep, but even something outwardly appealing,
Beautiful eyes,
Nice hands,
Lovely smile,
Wonderful hair,
Lovely fragrance,
So many things,
Once over twenty eight years ago, while living in Germany, I learned that about love and relationships and beauty…
I had a friend, who worked with me,
He was in the military and by any definition handsome,
His wife was in Oklahoma and he spoke of her with such love, he sounded besotted,
I was sure, stereotypically, she was beautiful to the eye,
How could she not be, like attracts like, right…
Anyway when I first saw her, I was startled,
She didn’t look anything like I envisioned,
Others with me glanced at each other, they were shocked,
However, by the end of the evening after talking to her,
I was as besotted as he,
Her heart and attitude were so lovely,
And I started to see her differently,
Her eyes were lovely and sparkly,
Her hands were quite lovely,
She had the fragrance of hot house flowers,
She was beautiful,
After we knew each other a bit better,
She teased me about how quickly I recovered when I saw her,
She told me she was used to it,
That all of her life, she had been told how unattractive she was,
So she had spent her whole life working on how she treated people,
And accentuating those physical things that she could,
I love that…
And it is something we could all learn from…

Love and Blessings!
Angelia

BOOKS BY ANGELIA VERNON MENCHAN @
WWW.ANGELIAVMENCHAN.COM

Mentored Mentor...

Yesterday, I had made the decision to stay home all day, do nothing,
No book signings, no discussions, no shopping, no nothing,
Just stay at home, reading, resting, and it was a good day for it,
The weather was in the 20s and I know that may not be as cold as some places,
But for Floridians, it is COLD,
Anyway I knew one of my mentees, was coming by, Shaneika, Sha to me,
She had told me she would,
She has been in my life for almost four years and I love her,
And am proud of her, she personifies, Young Black Woman to me,
Smart, funny, hardworking, loving...honest,
When she arrived she had lunch for Madame, that is what she calls me,
She brought me a chicken salad and a red velvet cupcake,
Yumm...
We sat, eating, laughing talking, enjoying each other,
Then she asked if she could sing a song she had written,
I said of course, I knew she could play several instruments, but I had never,
Heard her sing,
Well, when she got back in with her guitar,
She played and sang,
SHE BLEW ME AWAY...MY GIRL COULD SANG,
I had to call my husband on the phone so he could hear her,
I was so touched and so proud,
And then we started to talk,
This time it wasnt just her talking, but me,
I talked to her so honestly, openly and freely,
Something the mentors of the world don't get to do all that often,
AND she listened,
And then told me her very wise and astute opinions on what we had talked about,
She was so on point,
And I felt so grateful to that almost twenty-one year old,
For mentoring her mentor...
I love her, she loves me...she is my daughter who I didn't give birth to...
For the next hour or so we sat pretty quietly,
She and I were tapping on our phones,
Texting people,
We both found that funny,
When she left, I thanked her, wrapping my arms around her,
She smiled, waving as she left...
I am blessed to have her...

Love and Blessings!
angelia

www.angeliavmenchan.com

Getting Historical...

Black History Month,
there are so many people who are to be honored this month, those who were famous,
prestigious and trailblazers in their own right...and I honor them all,
I also honor those Black people that made up my history,
Did not do anything that is written anywhere,
But they were there for me and had a remarkable influence on this Black Girl,
My first Heroine, was my mama, Ora Lee Vernon,
Mama was one of the funniest, most honest women on the planet and that sometimes got her,
In a trouble, but, no matter what she stayed true to who she was and was a warrior of the first order...and she loved her some me! Miss you mama,
Then there was my Godmother, Eva Mae Jackson, Ms. Eva,
To me, she lived to be 102 years of age,
And she was there for me always, no matter what,
There were a lot of children who came through her life,
She was the ultimate mentor,
But me she never let go of no matter what,
She taught me so many things and always gave it straight, no chaser,
She was my port in the storm through many dark times,
I can remember walking miles to be near her in my teens,
When I felt there was nowhere else to go...
My Aunt Elouise was known to be mean to many of the cousins,
She did not play,
She never had any children,
But she had many children,
She made the most amazing biscuits and sweet potato pie,
And I can remember when she would line us up and walk us to the black swimming pool,
Or when in the summers she would take us all to the movies,
And we would stop at magnolia bakery and get ice box cookies on the way home,
In her last days,
She and I would have amazing conversations,
She was not mean, she was a strong, stabilizing force that was necessary,
To prepare young Black women for the world...

There were many others that touched me, nurtured me, chastised me, spanked me,
But MOSTLY these three loved me, just as I was in all my oddness,
That is a part of my Black History...

Blessings!
angelia

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ABOUT THE CHILDREN...

In five days, God willing, I will be a grandmother, Nana, according to my son,
That is what he called my mama and that is what he wants his first born to call me,
I am so okay with whatever that baby chooses to call me,
I love Amira as though she were already here, though they live many miles away,
We are already preparing as though she were here…the guest room already has a nice,
Pram at the foot and the bed is covered with things I have purchased and that people have placed in my hands…small things…
I am ready to start her college fund as soon as she has a social security number,
And tell her the little bit I know,
But mostly I want to love her, hold her close,
Watch her sleep, smile,
Read to her,
Let her know how special she is to me…
This past weekend I sat in a funeral, a joyous celebration, actually, as it should be,
On the seat in front of me sat my husband’s second cousin, Dee…
Next to her was her husband,
Next to him her nephew,
Who was sitting next to her brother and his wife,
And what I loved was how Dee’s baby,
Went from her arms, to her husband’s arms,
To her nephew’s,
Then her brother’s and his wife’s,
And most beautifully, the rapturous looks on their faces as they loved and nurtured that child, what a legacy of love,
Later as we sat at the house, eating, talking, laughing and reminiscing,
I watched as the children were fed first,
Then allowed to run free on all that wide open land,
Where someone always had an eye on them,
Or as the baby lay on it’s grandmother’s chest, with them both dozing,
While her younger sister walked towards the lemon trees,
Holding the hand of her grandfather,
And laughter rang out from all the other children,
It was beautiful,
Because those children did not have a care in the world,
And children shouldn’t,
They knew they were loved,
And that someone always was looking out for them,
And in the mornings when they woke,
Someone would be there,
And at night if they awoke,
Someone would be there,
What a way to allow kids to be…
So beautiful…
More blessed….

Love and Peace,
Angelia (NANA)

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DO YOUR THANG!

The things that separate the living from the getting by is doing your own thing,
Writing is my thing, my stories are my stories and I will tell ‘em how I know ‘em…
There are times when amused, other times frustrated when someone takes it upon themselves to try to tell someone else how to do THEIR thing…
I cringe every single time I hear someone say, ‘If it were me…’
I want to say and have said, ‘Well it isn’t you, it them or it’s me…’
I have made so many decisions that people felt they had a right to weigh in on,
And I ignored them every time…
Over thirty years ago, a handful of people said,
“Married, oh no don’t get married, marriage, don’t work, or you two are so different…’
HMMPH….well nobody told me that it didn’t work, at least nobody that could change my mind…
Almost thirty one years, ya'll...

The same was true when I started writing,
Some had the nerve to ask, why did I want to do something else…
As if though because I had accomplished a couple of things, I needed to rest on my laurels, Pshhhhh, won’t happen, don’t have any laurels…
Then there was that crowd who wanted to say my topics were too, umm controversial,
My question was for who or is it whom…
Because I know for sure, that folks are living some controversial lives,
And that there are more stories to be told than the usual ones,
And doggone it I will tell ‘em,
I had to tell someone I love dearly that they or no one other than GOD will still my voice,
Or stop me from doing this thing I love and that brings me joy and peace,
Won’t happen…
And my advice is always this,
Anyone and everyone should find that thing that brings them the same…
And I assure you that when doing one’s own thing,
One doesn’t have a minute to spare on anyone else’s thing,
For real, for real….

Love and Blessings!
Angelia

RAMBLINGS: Volume I @
www.angeliavmenchan.com

Truth Telling...

Today I sat in my office, surrounded by pictures of my family...and wrote some truth,
I wrote about a time in my life when I was thirteen years old...old being the operative word, because I was considered always to be on of those old souls...
It was so funny, because, I wrote quite dispassionately and removed,
And reading over it, in some cases I am sure popular opinion is that I should have been horrified,
Mad, bitter, unable to move on...yeah in some cases it was that serious...that bad...
But I didn't feel any of that...I just felt good, good that I am here,
That I have the man I have, the kids I have, the life I have...
And able to acknowledge that GOD had me, even when I didn't know it...
Because he was saving me for something...

A young woman in my life sat next to me tonight on my sofa, love you Shanieka...
One of my long time mentees....well actually she has been emancipated, but still comes to see,
Mama Deep...
She read through RAMBLINGS...it is only eighty pages...
And she thanked me for doing it, for being real, for literally RAMBLING and exposing myself on those pages...I smiled at her because I knew it wasn't me...if I could have not done it, I would have not done it...but I had to...
There are so many things that have to be said,
And someone has to say them and it seems that I am one of those to say it...I smile because today my counterpart in my Regional office called me for something, I told her where to get it,
And it wasn't from the expected place,
She laughed, telling me she loved me,
I was a bit puzzled and she told me,
"I can alway count on you to just say it, you are cut and dry and get right to it."
I told her I would try to do better next year, because I had meant to be different this year, but, had already messed up...
She begged me not to...telling me she needed me to be just the way I am...
It wasn't true any way,
All I know is what I know and for whatever reason, GOD has decided, that I should share it with somebody, somewhere...
Back to what I wrote today, the time is going to come for me to share those dark years, the years that should have taken me out...but actually made me stronger and ready for all this...
Whatever it is...

Blessed!
angelia

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DO YOU WANNA BE RIGHT?

There are few things sadder to me than people who truly, deep-down, gut love each other,
But for simple reasons can’t articulate it…
No one wants to be the first person to say, “Ooh I love you, don’t want to be without you’…
So no one says anything…
No one wants to say, ‘I am sorry, I messed up…can we just talk and make this work…’
Instead it’s like being in a boxing ring…opponents on opposite sides, punch drunk and unsure what to do except continue to swing until worn out…
I am a people watcher, some would say quietly nosy, but let’s not resort to name-calling…
Anyway…
I watch people who I know are so in love with the other and they watch each other from across the room or get jittery when the person is near,
But play it cool…acting like…well silly…
So much wasted time…
I tell you there is no easy plan for love and marriage…
And honey it is work…but can be so good, when both are working in the same direction…not afraid to give in a bit…not always be right…
When I got married over thirty years ago, I had no blueprint for marriage…
The women in my family were all divorced, widowed, or defiantly never married…
And didn’t have great things to say about the institution…
And the marriages I saw were, let’s say, they may as well have not been married…
But I did it anyway,
And it has been work…and ups and downs and to’s and fro’s but it has been worth it,
Every step of the way…
Because we learned that sometimes talk is necessary…
Even a good old shouting match every now and then,
But we also learned to concede even when we were right…
Sometimes you have to be wrong to be right…
Because peace and happiness carries a lot of weight and you can sometimes be right,
Or you can be happy…and believe me it doesn’t happen at the same time, all the time…
For real, for real…
And if we are patient, honest, fair and sometimes willing to compromise,
Joy can and will come in the morning…often…

LOVE AND PEACE,
Angelia

RAMBLINGS: Volume 1
SCHAE’S STORY: A Woman’s Transformation
Is NO Not Clear Enough For You
All Available @
www.angeliavmenchan.com

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE?

Unconditional Love is one of those phrases that are so beautiful, speaks of the kind of love GOD has for all of us and most parents and children have for each other…
What it means in it’s purest form is that no matter what one does, the love will always be there…you are my child, my mama, my daddy…
What it does not mean is this…
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS NOT UNCONDITIONAL CONDONING…
When a person loves another person unconditionally all it means is the love them no matter what and places no conditions on them to continue the love…period.
It does not mean, you can treat someone any kind of way and because of unconditional love they will allow it…
It does not mean that the unconditional lover will cosign on you madness or finance your indiscretions…
No sir or ma’am it does not,
In fact if they love you unconditionally, every now and then they will love you enough to allow you to be responsible for your own mess and stand on your own two feet…
It really concerns me, how many elder parents are so bound up with feeling that conditional love for their children mean something it does not,
Allowing grown children to live with them rent free, while driving around in nice cars,
Or paying child support for sons while they are unemployed and sleeping all day,
Or placing houses on second and third mortgages to pay bail or bonds, a second or third time, that is not love, that is enabling bad behavior and raising a generation who feels the world owes them something…
This in no way says that we are not to assist our folks in need, no not by any means,
That is a part of loving someone,
However, loving someone to your detriment is not love is martyrdom,
And will leave you sad, bitter and feeling unloved yourself…
Both my kids will tell you, I have gotten them out of some things…the first time,
However, a pattern of behavior will leave them with choices to make…
That is what grown folks do…and I know better than most that going through something,
Will prepare you for something else…
My loved ones will also tell you this,
That if I have gone through anything,
I was already through it before they even know about it,
If they ever know about it,
Because though I know they love me unconditionally,
They are not responsible for my mess,
And are not expected to cosign on my madness,
That is up to me….

Love and Blessings!
Angelia

RAMBLINGS VOLUME ONE - 7.95
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