What a Year!

It is only the 31st of October and all I can say,
Is What a Year,
I could feel the change in the air and in me from day one,
I was not sure what the year would truly bring, but based on how I felt,
And the sea changes going on internally, I knew we would be in for something,
Personally,
I have grown beyond my skin,
Having to take hard looks at myself, my professed values and how I was living,
And knew that cold-turkey changes were afoot,
But also I knew that no matter how hard or painful, I was up to it,
I can honestly say, that walking by faith, and realizing you have to go under,
Before you get over, is the truth,
Now I find myself in a hard won, wonderful place, being true to myself...
Whew!
I don't have to even say how much change has gone on around us politicially,
The very idea that a Black man could actually be President is stupendous!
And then there is all the topsy-turvyness of the finances and all as we know it,
All I can do is thank God, that I am in my heart and soul where I am today,
Totally unworried about any of it,
Because if this had all happenned at another time in my life,
I would have probably been coocoo for cocoa puffs,
But having gone through the fire in so many ways,
And coming out as iron, I know it ain't nothing,
Also to be on the precipice of being a grandmother,
Lord, I can't even speak to it,
And of a girl-child, Amiri Jameela,
My chest in barely able to control my heart,
Can't wait to hold her close to my heart,
Read to her,
Hum to her,
Talk to her,
Watch her grow...
What a year!!
God is Good!

Blessings,
angelia

PREORDER SCHAE'S STORY: A Woman's Transformation @
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Hard Truths...

One of the most difficult things in the world is acceptance of truth,
Particularly, when it is a truth that is painful or one we wish were different,
Last night when I sat in church, my pastor was truth-telling,
And I could see he was ministering as much to himself as to us,
Because we all struggle, when we have to admit a thing is different than what it is,
I have had to face that so many times in my life,
Most especially, when I decided to write books,
I knew initially what I was trying to do, I think,
And I did that, but after listening, I was unsure,
So I tried to do something else, and it felt false to me,
But I limped through it, hoping against hope it would work,
It actually did, but not in a way that was right for me,
So I pumped the brakes, stopped short, went back to the truth,
My truth, boy, was it painful, folks were calling me a fool,
Sometimes, almost in my face, but it was good pain,
Cleansing,
So I went back to doing what I was meant to do and how I was meant to do it,
And I can see where I was going and loving how it looks,
A Hard Truth,
The same is true with my people,
I have some ties that are as shredded as the strings in old tennis shoes,
I feel that if the next time I put them on and tie them, they are going to fall apart in my hand,
So I leave them in the closet, not wearing them because I know, I need knew running shoes,
Hard Truth,
The good thing about Hard Truths though is this,
When you learn it, you learn it,
And only speaking for me,
I make sure that whenever I see the path that leads down that road,
I know that I only need the truth to set me free once,
So I go another route,
It may take a bit longer to get where I am going,
But man is it a more enjoyable journey....

Blessings!

PREORDER SCHAE'S STORY: A WOMAN'S TRANSFORMATION @
WWW.ANGELIAVMENCHAN.COM

Leave With Something!

This week, I watched the news with a bit of sadness,
Two young men were shot in less than forty-eight hours by law enforcement,
Both were minors and shot while committing felony acts,
I watched the mothers of both boys crying into the camera,
Wanting to know the status of their sons, who were luckily alive, but in custody,
I understood their pain and even, their rage, however, I could only wonder what,
Had transpired to have them end up where they were,
And in one case, why was a fifteen year old out that time of night?
I am not judging, I just want to understand, because if we can understand, maybe something can be done,
I used to catch heck from family and friends about being so strict,
I didn’t feel strict at all, I just felt a need to know where my children were and what
Activities they were involved in, didn’t know it was a big deal to know where minors,
And my kids will tell you they didn’t miss a thing,
They went to activities and participated and my home was open to their friends,
I remember when my youngest was about fifteen, he saved up, purchasing tickets for a Juvenile concert, we drove him there and picked him up…he had a blast, got to party hearty, but came home in the comfort of his car with his mom and dad,
It occurred to me this morning that there was never a time when they were under age,
That I was wondering where they were, in the middle of the night, they were in bed sleeping, under the watchful, stern, loving eyes of their parents,
My prayer is that my son and his wife are just as loving, stern and watchful as we were,
Because the world is filled with madness, and those who prey on the weak,
Parenting, guardianship and even mentoring is hard work,
But we must be ever vigilant, because we MUST leave these children with something,
They can hold on to, believe in, pattern their behavior after and most importantly pass on to the next generation, it is MANDATORY…

NOTHING BUT LOVE,
Angelia

www.angeliavmenchan.com

So Unconcerned?

As I have said before, it is amazing to me what people pay attention to,
Someone is always looking,
On the simple side, someone told me last week that a discussion ensued about,
How close I sit to my husband in church, honest, it is true,
The other thing I hear from people, is that I am unconcerned,
Yes, unconcerned,
I tell folks, I am concerned about a lot of things,
Young people, faithlessness, crime, joblessness…etc.
Then I am told that, ‘I look unconcerned…’
Oh I see, I am calm, not hysterical, gossipy or all tied up in knots about erry little thing,
Thus, unconcerned,
Okay, I will embrace that,
While I clarify,
I am concerned about many things,
But,
I don’t worry about, churn about, or beat my head about things,
That aren’t my business, that I can do nothing about, or that is small or petty,
It just takes too much energy to get wrought up about every little going on,
One such thing is people talking to me, I am amazed at how many grown folks worry,
About who is or is not talking to them…utterly amazed…
If someone engages me, I will talk till the break of dawn,
However, if they act like they don’t want to be bothered,
A sister will not bother them,
If I notice someone looking sad or distressed,
I will offer assistance,
If I am told they are cool, got it under control,
I take their word for it, because some days folks just want to be quiet,
Handle their own business, go through it quietly, and they have that right,
So if minding my own business, not being a busy body, or not maintaining,
Messy relations makes a sister unconcerned,
Then it is what it is,
And I am what I am…

Blessings!
Angelia
PREORDER SCHAE’S STORY: A WOMAN’S TRANSFORMATION @
www.angeliavmenchan.com

Teachable Spirit...

This weekend I spoke to a number of my children,
When I say children, I mean those I gave birth to,
But also, those who God has placed in my path,
Not sure why this was a weekend of so much reaching out to me,
But for it I am grateful and a bit tired,
Grateful, because for whatever reason it has been decided that I have something,
To pass on,
But tiring because I finally figured out what was up,
Why some get it and do,
And why others don’t,
One needs a TEACHABLE SPIRIT,
When I was growing up, I sat at the feet of my elders,
My mom, grandma, godmother and aunts,
Allowing all they knew to rain down on me like holy water,
Understanding that though times had changed,
Basics things like, love, patience, tolerance, forgiveness,
Never went out of style, I was open to being taught,
And when I look at all my children, I see the same,
There are those who are doing awesome,
Others are doing well,
Some are doing okay,
And some are well, stuck,
And to a one, I realize that the ones who are doing the best were,
TEACHABLE,
They were like sponges, just soaking up all those who had gone before them,
Had to offer, while changing the game with their own individuality and knowing,
When the time came they, too, would have something to teach…
Oh my goodness,
That gives me great hope for the future,
Because that means that all things are renewable,
Fixable and possible,
Thank God for teachable spirits!

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Mission Accomplished!

This morning I sent my cover and my content to the printer....
I feel drained as I usually do when completing a book, but this was especially draining because it was a real labor of love, I have so many friends, relatives, people I know who were taught that looking good, having money and fine men is the be all and end all,
Seemingly, for years it worked, however, one day many of them woke up alone and lonely, wondering what had happened, knowing they had been sold a bill of goods, because truly,
The best love starts with God's love and self love, and no amount of designer clothing, dollar, dollar bills or fine men willing to shower you with stuff can compare...as such I knew I needed to tell Schae's Story, allowing her honesty and growth to resonate with anyone who has been there, might go there or is trying to leave there...I dedicate this to all my sisters, old, young and in between and to my brothers who have also bought into the lie and has to learn that nothing worth having can be bought....Love you all,

Angelia

PRE-ORDER SCHAE'S STORY @
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Decisional Changes...

I hear folks say all the time, she is just like that, or I am just like that,
And it is true, we are who we are, but this is also true, we can make a decision,
To do things differently, anytime we want to, honest…
The trick to the thing, is we really have to want to be and do different,
I remember the first time I knew this, I was all of thirteen,
I remember that as being one of my toughest years,
My young self had developed this amazingly grown body,
Attention was coming my way that didn’t feel right, and I had grown an armor to deal with it, also, my home life was a topsy and turvy, didn’t feel for the first time I could
Depend on the adults in my life, it was scary,
So what I did, was become tough on the outside, putting on a veneer of not caring,
And it worked, so well…
One day sitting in language arts, Mrs. Miller wrote on the chalkboard,
‘What is an HB with a BA’, many tried to figure it out and couldn’t, I wasn’t sure,
But I knew I didn’t like how it sounded, finally she told us, it was,
A human being with a bad attitude, I felt that down in my bones, I knew she meant me,
I didn’t want to care, but I did, my grades were awesome, I even helped other students,
But my personal pain, led me to sarcasm and disregard for the feelings of others,
There were so many things I couldn’t control, but I could control how people came at me or so I thought. So I hung around and asked her if she meant me,
Looking straight at me with her hazel eyes and beautiful brown face,
She said, ‘Yes, many of us have noticed a change in you this year and we are worried…”
I know she wanted me to talk about, but, I couldn’t, too loyal to too many people,
What I did though as I walked home is made a decision to not allow my mess to affect others, every morning I got up, I chose to have a better attitude, because even at the tender age of thirteen, I knew those folks I was cutting to shreds with my laser sharp tongue, had done nothing to me,
And I was so grateful that my teacher valued me enough to tell me about myself,
Amen,
Now, I am not going to front and say, there were not days when someone caught me wrong, I didn’t wreak havoc, oh, yes I did,
But every day, I made an effort and mostly I succeeded,
I also discovered that when I acted better, I felt better,
Now, almost forty years later, it still works, when I am feeling messy,
I pray and quickly brush that dirt off my shoulders,
No one around me deserves that and neither do it…

Blessings,
Angelia

PREORDER SCHAE’S STORY: A WOMAN’S TRANSFORMATION@
www.angeliavmenchan.com

Had I Only?

So many of us spend time saying, if I had only done, such and such,
Fess up, it is human,
The other day I was talking to my son, who in his early twenties is doing very well,
However, with his sense of accomplishment, came a bit of doubt,
Wondering with even how well he has done, if he had done this or that,
Where would he be,
As a loving mother, I listened patiently, then told him,
You would probably be right where you are, life is a series of decisions,
and circuitous routes and you have not missed a beat,
Regret nothing,
When it was time to be a child, you were one,
When the time came to man up, you did,
And you are right where you are supposed to be,
On the road to where you are supposed to go...
Many ask me do I regret not writing sooner,
I tell them no, I regret nothing,
Because if I had started writing in my twenties, thirties or even early forties,
When winning meant all,
I would have written one book,
If it hadn't 'blown up' I would have gone on to the next thing,
It happened when I had the time, resources and patience to ride this thing out,
When I know that I write for the love of the game,
And whatever I get is gravy...
And I also know that I will continue to write and get better,
As time progresses,
Thank God, I knew the virtue of patience...

Blessings!
angelia
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Tough Loving!

I had a completely different topic this morning, but it will have to wait,
Walking into my office I had been in my chair all of fifteen minutes,
And one of my co-workers, walked in, he is in his late fifties, a brilliant scientist,
With a sixteen year old son and a thirteen year old daughter, who lives with their mother,
His dilemma is that he is watching his son fail,
The boy is also brilliant, in advanced classes, but is beyond caring at this point in his life,
And the culprits are the parents,
Sorry, but I have to say it,
This boy has learned to play both ends against the middle,
He has a tough father with expectations in one house,
And a mother who needs approval from her children in the other,
As one who’s mind is always working, these kids know how to get what they want,
And who they can get it from,
All I could tell his is this, as parents, our responsibility is not to liked by our kids,
But to raise them, if we are doing our jobs at all, there are times when those children,
Will be unable to stand us, and we have to be strong enough to just say no,
No to video games, television, outside activities, allowances and all that stuff when they,
Are not handling up, I was a tough, loving mama,
And when the kids did not do their little bit, such as be respectful, take care of school work, and any assigned chores, they only received the basics, love, food, shelter…with no exceptions, they and many others found that to be tough,
And I often told parents, sure it is tough, tough on you!
Because to make kids do what they have to do, it is hard on parents as well,
We have to discipline, consistently and even when we get tired, we still have to parent,
There is no down time for parenting, until those kids are grown and on their on,
And parenting is certainly not a popularity contest or is it for punks or the faint of heart,
We must be in it to win it, most importantly for the children…
Trust me on this, they will be grateful one day, and you will too,
Because those who raise them while they are still children, have to opportunity to,
Live freely once they are grown!

Trust!

angelia
www.angeliavmenchan.com

When to Hold and When to Fold...

Knowing when to stay and when to go is a blessing,
As I drove in this morning I was running a list of things in my head,
That I’d had to hang in there on and on others I’d had to pray about and let go,
I thought back over three years, my husband and I had joined a new group,
And a few weeks in they were looking for someone to head something,
And I raised my hand, to this very day, I am unsure why, didn’t really want to,
And they didn’t know me from a can of paint but there I was with my hand in the air,
And immediately I knew it was a bad fit for me, the timing was all off,
For several months it went well, I was hitting my marks, but it soon got a bit funky,
I felt I was being micro-managed, and as a person who had been autonomous for so long,
It felt claustrophobic, so after limping along for a few more months, I resigned,
It seemed that everyone expected me not to show up again,
But I went to every meeting, participated in all the events, because what I knew as that,
While I could not do what I had been doing, I could serve, for the greater good, because,
It was not about me, today it is one of my favorite places, I just had to figure out where I was best suited,
About a year ago there was major upheaval in my church, it left me saddened and spiritually bereft, but at that time I knew that I had to hang in there, because church isn’t about people, it’s about God and the message and when we get through, we get over,
Nowadays I can’t wait to get to church, though those months were hard ones,
I am so glad and grateful that once again, I realized it wasn’t about me,
On the other hand, I had to learn that some things are good, only while they are good,
And when they stop being good, it is time to move on, because sometimes hanging in there is detrimental to the hanger and the hangees, and even in this situation one has to realize is it about the greater good, even if it is personally painful, besides, pain is growth…

Blessings!
Angelia

Schae’s Story: A Woman’s Transformation
12/08/2008
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www.angeliavmenchan.com

BLACK?, Defined?

I am always confused, amazed, stunned by how narrowly people define stuff,
I have heard people say stuff such as, 'I don't know how she got a man, she is not very cute...'
HUH, cute by whose definitions, and does the fact that she is good-spirited, loving and warm-hearted matter at all...cute does not fill the soul...
Or another thing is how we so narrowly define Blackness,
Black seems to be determined in the minds of many by how one speaks, dresses,
Food they choose to eat or what the do in their leisure time,
Or more sadly by lack of something, such as achievment,
Come on People,
All one has to do to be Black, is to be BORN BLACK,
And we are as non-monolithic as anyone else,
It pushes me to think, that one of the things that hold us back,
Are those tightly held belief systems,
And rigidly defined attitudes,
More significantly, how we expect others to conform to our,
Rules of Blackness...
Anyhoo...
What I tell folks is this, I am all about people period, most particulary my people,
I show my Blackness in supporting issues and concerns that will help all Black people to
Live better, learn better, know more, get farther and to leave some type of legacy for,
Those to come...
I Pray that is Black Enough!

Blessings!

angelia

Upside Down, Round and Round!

Yesterday was one of those days when I felt upside down and round and round,
Like an emotional rollercoaster,
Driving over the Dames Point bridge, the fog was as thick as pea-soup,
I was listening to Regina Belle's wonderful gospel album, and singing along at the top,
Of my lungs, I felt joyous and drained at the same time,
Once I got to work, and settled in, I had to sit with my supervisor for my annual appraisal,
I wasn't concerned, because I knew I had worked my butt off this year,
And had some miraculouse moments,
But I usually feel weird when someone is singing my praises,
However, this year it felt different, something about it was so genuine,
And I truly felt appreciated and respected....
Humbling,
Getting back to my office, my son called, it was 9pm my time,
6am, his...
We chatted, talking about Amari Jamella, his baby due on Mar 6,
And my first grandbaby, a girl child,
I can not even say how swollen my emotions were,
Talking to my baby about his baby,
Knowing that we will have to opportunity to love, nurture and raise,
The young princess...
Choked!
A few hours later the phone rang at my desk,
Answering it, I smiled,
The rec director from my hometown, called to tell me,
The library I had grown up using,
Was mine to use for my official book release party,
I called Beverly, she was not home, but I told her on the voice mail,
How much I love her for having me, when I can't have myself...
By the time I got home, I felt a little under the weather,
My man came home and said I was a bit feverish,
I smiled at him, telling him about my day,
He grinned back in understanding,
Letting me know without saying,
He was exactly where I was,
As I made my way to bed, really early,
My face was smiling, though my body was tired,
I heard my man tapping on the keys, tightening up my new cover,
Falling asleep,
My last thougth was,
God is Good!!!

Love and Blessings,
angelia

Schae's Story: A Woman's Transformation
12/01/2008
www.angeliavmenchan.com

It's All Good!

This morning I sit at my desk, in a relaxed mode…getting ready for the weekend,
Plans with a friend tomorrow afternoon…
Plans with my girls Saturday afternoon,
Done with my sixth book and really feeling so good about it,
So glad I listened to my heart and spirit on where I wanted to go with my writing,
I am also filled to the brim with the message I received at church last night,
It was fire, so much about being taught and willing to receive and embrace that which is taught.
Something so poignant it had me on my feet was the lesson to not seek to settle the score,
Don’t try to get your own back,
Leave vengeance to a higher power,
That touched me so deeply, because that is one of my mantras,
I know, unequivocally that I have to do nothing, ever to anyone,
That every single one of us, ultimately get what is due us…period…
I have frustrated many friends and family over the years,
Because they will bring me something, tell me something and I choose to not even go there, not necessary…
Something similar happened, yesterday, someone felt I had to know something
Couldn’t wait to tell me, I graciously thanked them for their concerns,
And kept it moving…it is simple really,
I and only I get to choose my battles, it will be determined by me which wars I fight in,
Because every day on the battleground is not a good day,
And sometimes one simply needs to stay inside,
Allowing the ONE who is better equipped to deal with it…

BLESSINGS,

Angelia
www.angeliavmenchan.com

So Fine!

Today I was pondering what makes one physically attractive to another,

Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder, there are a few people that some seem to find,

Universally appealing, say umm Denzel or maybe Halle,

But mostly we all find something different appealing,

Anyone who has ever read my books, KNOW, I am partial to tall, thick, dark, hardworking, sister-loving, intense brothers who are cool when they need to be, but sensitive when it is neccessary....yeah baby, that be you...see photo!

Anyway, got caught up,

But there are many things I find physically appealing,

Kind eyes, large clean hands,

Yummy cologne, think Calvin Klein's Man...umm umm umm,

I also love watching people who have their own thing going on,

Who are funkily and individually attractive, with no concerns for what others do,

Fashion wise,

They do just do them and look good doing it,

My sister Val, my son Malik and my friend Nicole, immediately come to mind,

Also very, very attractive to me is being about something and handling business,

While loving your family....YUMMY

What is attractive to you?

angelia

Friendly Time!

Last night I thought about the things most important to me,
God, my man, my children, my family members, and my friends, new ones and old,
And in that friendship thing, I really had to look hard, realizing that to say friend, is a tough thing and one we shouldn’t take lightly,
I thought about my newer friends, my on the ground friends, how we infrequently get together, but have so much fun when we do, and how sometimes, just a hug and kiss,
In passing is enough to sustain us until the next time,
Then I think of my long time forever friends, and immediately Beverly comes to mind,
We were friends in high school, we both traveled the world, wasn’t in touch for years,
But one day we ended up back in the same planet, I live a hundred miles from her,
But she is my friend, I love her, when I need her, I know that she is an email away,
I know she knows it is reciprocal,
I have also made online friendships,
Those I am a bit careful with, because online people can become whoever,
They want to be, reinvent themselves, there are some, however,
Whose hearts I see clearly and hopefully they see mine,
Because as I age, the one thing I know is precious is my time,
And none of us, not a one want to spend wasted time,
When there are so many wonderful things we can be doing,
Mentoring children,
Hugging and kissing grandbabies,
Reading good books,
Writing books,
Sitting on the back porch staring at a waterfall and a profusion of plants,
Praying, meditating, chilling….

PEACE!
angelia

Transformations...

This weekend I was finalizing Schae’s Story: A Woman’s Transformation and it caused me to pause and reflect on how accepting of others changes we are, or more accurately we aren’t. I have found that it is more difficult for others to accept your changes than it is for one to change.
I can remember for years when my husband and I would go home on leave, all the stories were about how we once were, we had been married for years, had children, a variety of careers and our family and friends held on to who we were….it irked me, didn’t bother my man a twit, because he knew what I had to figure out;
People hold on to what makes them comfortable, if they could remember me as the sassy-mouthed girl, whose tears flowed when she was mad, sad or glad, then that meant I was still the same,
If he could be remembered as the devil-may-care, I love being wild young man,
Then he would still be the same,
But to accept that we were grown, changed, maturing,
Spoke to the fact that we might not need them in the ways, we once had,
Thus we would be different, and we all know how different can confuse folks,
That is what Schae’s Story is about, a woman who bought into the lie,
That as long as she was beautiful, fine, sexy, the world and life was easy,
And that money was the be all and end all,
When she realizes that what is in her head and heart is what really matters,
Many family and friends aren’t so easy to buy in,
Particularly when she is coming from a FAITH PLACE,
I hear it all the time, when someone accepts God,
Those around them want to pooh pooh, the transformation,
Focusing on who they used to be and what they used to do,
What they fail to realize is this,
God works with us from where we are,
Junkies, promiscuous, hateful, whatever,
Because what he knows better than we know,
Is that the best folks are those who have been through some thangs,
And made it to the other side, realizing it was all through the GRACE…

Blessings!
Angelia
Schae’s Story: A Woman’s Transformation
12/01/2008
www.angeliavmenchan.com

Legacy!

We get to choose what we impart, what Legacy we leave,

This morning I listened to a song composed by my son, 'Legacy'...

Tears poured down my face as I listened,

Because the knowledge that your child feels you have given him something,

That he wants to pass on to his daughter, yes I am going to be a Gmama,

Malik and Paschanita Menchan will bring Amari Jamellah Menchan into this world,

Early March...

I am so ready to embrace that young woman,

Hold her up to the sky,

Letting her know from the cradle,

That she is loved, honored and must be respected,

And that there is nothing in the world she can't do,

Or be with God and the unwavering love and support of her family,

And she will have that!

Love, Peace and Blessings!

angelia

POWER!

I hear so much these days about female power,
And we know it is something, the hand that rocked the cradle and all...
But power my friends, is a slippery slope indeed,
And many times a trade off,
In my office, they tease me about being the silent power,
The one who is really in charge,
Largely because my job is to make sure the money is spent,
In ways that is legal and true to our mission,
Also because it is also my responsibility to weigh in on the unpopular stuff,
Like rules and regulations...it is what it is,
But I know that my true power comes from who I am,
And how I try to live,
It is rooted in the fact that I know God, and truly believe,
And in the fact that I love people, and know and accept that I am loved,
Also, in the fact that I don't have to wake up every morning of my life,
Feeling as though I have anything to prove to anyone,
Or lay awake at night churning about a new way to get over on someone,
That is not necessary...
And ends up oftentimes being self-defeating,
Because Karma is truly a @#$&^,
And it always comes around,
One of the places where people try harder than any to prove,
Is within their love thang,
And I shudder at that, because I know one of the reasons that brothers and sisters,
Are struggling because there is so much show and prove,
One of the main reasons I have been able to be married so long is because I know this,
As does my man,
A woman wants loving devotion,
And a man needs loving respect,
And we both understand that to give that to the other,
In no way diminishes who we are or what we have,
But makes the thing work...
Each of us know what we are best at,
I am a task manager,
My man is a crisis manager,
We lovingly cede to the others strengths,
And sometimes ignore the others weaknesses,
It works I tell you, and lasting love and respect,
Is true POWER!

For real though!
angelia

What You Give!

I don’t remember where I heard it first,
But since I heard it, I loved it and utilize it,
The phrase is, ‘You Get Back From the Universe, That Which You Provide,’
And I am living proof it is true,
The more you do for others, the more that comes back to you,
However, there is a bit of a trick to it,
You have to really do the thing, selflessly, without thought of gain,
For it to truly work…
A few months ago, while in a bit of a spiritual struggle,
I had this dream,
I knew so many things were wonderful,
Everyday I was waking up,
There was a fine man in bed with me,
Who loves him so me,
A roof over my head,
Food in my refrigerator,
Bills were paid,
But I felt off-kilter, kind of funky,
Not right,
Couldn’t put my finger on it,
Then I had the dream,
In the dream the voice said,
‘Open your hand again,
Give…’
I wasn’t trying to hear it, I was tithing, donating,
Shoot, what did they want from a Sister,
The next day, my son sent me a text, telling me a young woman needed me,
I sighed…but I knew I would answer the call,
And as sure as I am a tall, black woman with an attitude,
I felt better, more spiritually, heartful,
And the other night it hit me,
An open hand was also an open heart,
And as long as it pours forth,
And stays open,
It will be constantly filled,
Even when it’s dark outside,
What a revelation!

Love You All!
Angelia

www.angeliavmenchan.com

Things I Love...

First I want to preface this by saying 'Things' I love,
I don't want any of my peeps to get twisted...

#1 I LOVE WRITING; It allows me to create and to be anyone or anything at any given time...
Residuals aside, there is nothing I love more than placing a mishmash of words together,
And having them make sense...

#2 I love Books; I am a bibliophile for sure, I can and will read almost anything; everyday I read
Something, the Bible for sure, followed by newspapers, blogs, magazines and books of all stripes;
For me Reading is Fun (damental)

#3 I love plants, I truly love to get my hands dirty, planting roses, cactus, vegetables, it is so umm, earthy...I also love seeing vegetation as I drive along highways; my husband often teases me about how many times I say, 'How Beautiful' at a thicket of trees, and green, green, grass...

#4 I love COFFEE, love it, started drinking it years ago, when living in Germany and it was cold;
I had to get up at five am, get the baby dressed and bundled, and get him to the sitter, making it to work by seven when the ground was frozen; then it was a neccesity; Now it's a love, Caramel Machiatto is my favorite Starbucks blend, but a sister will get with some good old, Maxwell House, when that is all that's available...

#5 I love the three monkeys, you know those where one has his eyes covered, the other, his ears, and the third his mouth, SEE NO, HEAR NO, SPEAK NO...Evil, those are my boys...

#6 I love really good bread, the kinds that is soft and dense, chock full of grains, nuts and maybe even a bit of fruit...with olive oil, it is so yummy and heart healthy...

#7 I love Classic Coke...love it!

#8 I love MUSIC, all the time, in my car, on my computer at work, at home while I move about...
#9 I love me time, those days when I am home alone and I pitter around, read a bit, write a bit, eat a bit, doze a bit, talking to no one about anything...just chilling...

These are only a few of my loves, What do you love?

Blessings,
Angelia

http://www.angeliavmenchan.com/

Respectfully...

Today was a day for reflecting and when I reflect I think of my women,
My mama, my godmother, my aunt Elouise,
Women who taught a message of respect,
They were strong disciplinarians all,
But something I loved, love and respect them for is they were,
Dignity builders,
They didn't make a kid feel bad, ashamed, slap them in their faces...
They magnified what we had,
Steered us correct when we were off key,
As such I have tried to live my life, respecting others,
I can't remember ever cussing any out, well my man would beg to differ, but that is something,
Altogether different,
When trouble start, I depart and usually the only time I give my opinion,
Unless I am Rambling, here, someone had to ask for it,
My kids thank me all the time for loving them fully, sternly but not disrespecting them,
And that is one expectation that I have from all the people I deal with,
And I know we aren't supposed to expect anything,
But I tell you truly, the day you disrespect me,
Is the day I move something, go to a place where I can respect and be respected,
I have done and gone through many things in my life,
But the one thing I will not cosign on is anyone feeling they can come at me any way,
They want to, I am a grown woman who respects folk and will accept no less,
Period....

Blessings,
angelia

It's Not About U...Honest!

One of my favorite phrases in the world, is,
“It’s not about you”
I have said it to family and friends for years,
Not to mention my children, and it resonates with me continually,
Because people sure do take on a lot of stuff…
About a week and a half ago, I was sitting at the nail spa,
Freshly waxed brows, shea butter on my face,
Feet immersed in hot, oily water, Hall and Oates on the speakers,
The workers talking amongst themselves,
I was chilling…and then I felt a nudge,
Opening one eye, I looked at the nudger…
“Yes”
She quietly asked,
“Does that bother you?”
“What…” she glanced at the technicians, then back at me,
“That they are speaking Vietnamese?”
‘Huh, why would that bother me?’
‘They might be talking about us…” now she had jacked up my karma,
So I had to say,
“So what if they are, they don’t know us, we don’t know them, we are going,
To leave up out of here cute and relaxed, so what then…” Rolling her eyes,
She went back to her Cosmopolitan,
I went back to chilling, thinking,
“Woman, that is not about you, people speak in the language they think in…”
The reverse is true as well, if one has something to say,
Say it already, coyness, innuendo and saying, ‘them’ rolls right off me,
Unless someone addresses it to me as , Angelia, Ms. A., Angel, Mrs. Menchan, et al,
I am going to be assured they mean someone else, because surely,
If it were about me, grown folks would bring it to me,
Surely…
So if there is a message in this Rambling at all, it would be this,
Don’t assume anything is about you…
Unless you are told it is,
Just do your thing and try to chill…

Love, Peace and Blessings,
Angelia
http://www.angeliavmenchan.com/

For A Season...

Yesterday I was sitting next to a woman and for some reason we got on the subject of friendship, I was telling her about a friend who I could have known for years, due to where we grew up, but had only really ‘known’ her for a short while,
She looked at me saying, ‘Some relationships are only for a short time, a season’….
She went on to tell me about a woman she had met many years ago, while they were
Both in the military, how every year they would meet at a school and how close they
Became, but one year the woman wasn’t there and she was unable to find her,
However, decades later, she still remembers her lovingly,
That touched me, not just because of the fact, she was my elder and I don’t get that much,
Any longer…
But because I immediately knew the lesson,
She was telling me that sometimes, a thing just isn’t forever,
And that is why some friendships, get so ragged,
Because we try to hold on past the statute of limitations,
Some relationships are for a season,
And when the season ends, sometimes, we have to let go…
My mind flowed back to someone whose feelings I hurt,
We had been very good friends in high school, but once I moved on,
School, marriage, kids, states and continents,
We didn’t keep in touch,
One time I moved back home for a year,
And for some reason we just couldn’t bond,
But I tried and tried…
Then another long separation,
I ran into her by chance after moving back to Florida,
My mom was very ill, and all I had was wrapped up in that,
However, she really wanted and needed something from me,
And I simply didn’t have it to give,
She was very offended and didn’t talk to me for a long time,
I didn’t notice at first with a dying mom, a teenager and all else,
I was dealing with, I just couldn’t take on anything or anyone else…
What I wished I had been able to do,
Was get past my own pain, and simply say,
I loved you, I still love you, but my priorities and life have changed,
Tremendously…maybe she would have still been hurt,
But instead of having the awkward conversations we now have,
We would have both grasped that life changes…
As do people….

Blessings,
Angelia
Schae’s Story: A Woman’s Transformation
Can a Gold Digger Find Her Inner Spirit?
www.angeliavmenchan.com

Paying it Forward!

To whom, much is given, much is expected...
I truly believe that, thus the mentoring,
Yesterday, something happened that was such a struggle,
But it worked to the goodness,
In April, I was so overwhelmed with work, had been for months,
Finally, in walks this young woman, a temp, all of twenty-two,
I felt her spirit immediately,
Then was tickled when I l earned she was a Capricorn woman and,
Shared a birthdate with my eldest,
Well from day one,
She went to work, doing her thang, showing and proving,
The young sister was good,
My heart ached, because I felt we would not be able to keep her,
The federal government has so many rules,
However, God works,
She applied and did not qualify,
But the ones that did, did not show up,
Discovering she was a student, we knew we would be able to,
Hire her under that status, bringing her on board,
Yesterday after many ups and downs, tos and fros,
It happened, Mama Deep was cabbage-patching on her way out the door,
Because it was beautiful to see a young woman who was paying her own way,
On her on, finally get a chance when all the odds seemed against it,
And it just solidified what I had told her,
To have faith, believe that I would work as hard as I could to make it happen,
And mostly to know that what God has for you,
Nothing can hinder,
It was a good day...

Love and Peace!
angelia

Caught Up, Again...

Sometimes I find myself caught up, try as I might,
And I try mightily, I will find myself in a situation, where,
I am feeling really uncomfortable and not sure where to go or what to do,
Usually I remain quiet, praying that the tide will turn, the situation will improve,
Mostly it does,
However, errry now and then, I will find myself caught up, saying something that as,
Soon as it passes my lips, I want to suck it back in,
A couple days ago, I was in one of those situations,
Comments were flying fast and furiously about someone’s appearance,
I don’t give a care about how folks choose to go out and about,
I need to focus on me,
But for some reason, I threw in a statement,
The momentum stopped, I was shocked and so were the other participants,
I immediately went quiet…dag!
Last night I found myself in the same situation,
I was sitting in church, yes folks church,
And there was an air of something,
A few off the cuff remarks were said by a few people,
Silly stuff, really, personality stuff and all,
A situation occurred that was surprising to me,
However this time, I stayed as quiet as the proverbial mouse,
Though I was giggling inside at the nerve of people and how things occur so quickly,
Once the pastor started to speak, I was so glad that I had kept my mouth shut,
He brought it about how sometimes we have to be still,
Quiet,
Choosing not to seek our own or not engage in the battle,
Woo Hoo! Now that is what I’m talking about,
Or actually, what I wasn’t talking about…

PEACE!
angelia

Dissed-Associated

I am always fascinated by how people, namely MY people, dissassociate themselves from each other,
You can always tell when one of us has 'embarrassed' the other, we can't wait to say,
"I'm not like them, or I don't know anyone like that..." PLEASE...
We all know people from all walks of life, you can't be alive or in a family or have ever been,
Anywhere and not know folks who have committed crimes,
Had a substance abuse problems, or just simply can't get it together,
We all do,
Now whether we choose to acknowledge them, talk to them, associate with them,
Or even speak to them, is something else altogether,
My thing is this, if you are up to no good,
Do not expect me to roll with you, I am not hopping in your car, if I know you riding dirty,
Not coming to your crib if nefarious activities are going on,
Will not condone not paying child support or cosign on your madness,
But if I know you, I know you and if you run into me, we will speak, talk, associate,
What brings this to mind is a couple weeks ago, I ran into Josephine,
She and I were in first grade together, she was one of thirteen children,
And did not have much, she struggled academically and quit school early,
In the years, MANY years since then, she has had problems, legacy stuff,
However, every now and then I run into her, she makes a point of hugging me,
We always chat it up, she tells me about her life, kids, grandkids, et al, I listen,
Tell her about my sons, we chill, before parting, she makes a point of introducing me to everyone,
Lauding me for 'keeping it real' and never forgetting my people, while disparaging those,
Who have, I usually smile with a bit of embarrassment at the absurdity of it all...
After all we are both pumping red blood in our veins and have to face what each day brings,
But I get it, because she knows that 'her girl' will never diss her,
Because she remembers, and knows, that but for the Grace...
Once, Malik, was with me, he was about 16, after we walked away,
He said, 'Mama, I like that, you got street cred...'
I winked at him, saying,
'Not really, these streets are where I am from, it's home, I'm simply a home girl'...
WORD!

Love and Blessings!
angelia
Schae's Story: A Woman's Transformation:
12/01/2008
http://www.angeliavmenchan.com/