Who Dat?

Do you ever meet people and wonder who they really are…
I know I do, I’m fascinated by the stories I can make up,
They are probably way more fascinating than anything that’s true,
But maybe not…
The ‘Who Dat’ happens in regards to me all the time,
People always claim to never really know,
Mench even says he is married to so many women in one body…he he!
But seriously,
Once I get to know people they always say,
I never knew you were so damn funny or goofy…
I guess it’s because I look conservative in most arenas,
And I can be,
Because business is business….
However,
I am also someone who loves to belly-laugh,
Dance like my feet are on fire,
And find the doggone humor in every situation,
I guess what leads to the surprise is that,
I am very reserved at first meet,
I am slow to get involved,
Don’t fall in love with every passerby,
Don’t start smooching immediately,
But once I love you, well you in…
And you get to see the real…
So…………..
Come on fess up, what is that people say,
Once they get to know you…

Blessings,
Angelia

You Get What You Pay For!

I have this saying, 'A bought lesson is the best kind',
What I mean by that is that some of the things I learned that stayed with me has been what,
I learned through experience, bought lessons...
As some know the number 8 represents change biblically,
And 2008 has truly been a year of change for me,
The first few months found me hustling like Master P,
To sell a book that it seemed like only I believed in,
Everyone had gotten used to my 'grown women',
And though they tolerated my young lady, they wanted me back to the business at hand,
What I knew was that I was on a mission and had to do what I did,
And so many other things were topsy-turvy,
My health was at stake, doing too many things and being a natural competitor,
Giving it all I had,
There was a spiritual shake up due some things with my church,
And I was feeling really unappreciative of a really good job,
Not my life's calling by any means but a job,
That paid well and was filled with people who valued and respected me even,
When I wasn't at my best,
But thanks to God, I am married to my spiritual advisor,
He lovingly watched me go through my changes,
Calling me out when it was necessary,
But constantly loving the complicated, mercurial woman he calls 'Babee'...
He also told me that the brightest light comes after the darkness,
And he was so right, again...
And I am so grateful,
I am writing again,
Mentoring again,
Giggling, Laughing and Dancing,
And appreciating...
And I knew that if I hadn't paid for those lessons,
I wouldn't have appreciated the light as much....
So, I guess it really is true...
We get what we pay for!

Blessings!
angelia

The Past in Place

One thing I have learned is that the past is over at midnight,
I know that sounds simple and it is,
One of the hardest things for people to deal with is that once something is done,
There is very little that can be done to change it,
It is past…
Now that in no way means, we shouldn’t learn from the past,
Using events that have taken place as stepping stones and avenues to where we are trying to go,
And we certainly shouldn’t forget those who went before us,
Paving the way,
What I’m trying to say, however, ineloquently is that becoming mired down,
In past hurts, grievances and pain,
Will stop you cold from having a FUTURE,
Some of the most debilitated people I know,
Have their hearts, minds and souls so wrapped around,
What ‘usta be’ that they are unable to move on,
When talking to my young lady on Friday,
I allowed her to flow,
Just tell me what was going on,
Had gone on, what had caused her to make decisions that had shaped her,
Per usual it was past hurts, mama, daddy, and ‘nem…
I totally understood,
However, I told her to refocus, now that she had finally said it,
And work on personal,
Because what I have discovered,
Is that when we are busy about the business,
Of becoming whole,
By doing what is necessary,
We have very little time to be caught up in the chokehold the past can have on us,
It’s particularly difficult because sometimes it means letting go of people,
Those whose power over us is to remind of what we were or what we had done,
In order to keep us connected to them in misery,
That saying about misery loving company is a true truth,
And as I told my children,
The best way to move forward is to get in crowd that is moving in that direction,
Who are about the business of positive growth and possibilities,
With eyes focused on the Future,
Will full appreciation of what went before,
While understanding that at 12:01 am,
It’s a new day!

Love and Blessings,
angelia

So Excited!

Life's simple pleasures are truly the best,
I'm meeting this morning with my new Mentee,
She is twenty-one,
She is a smart, articulate young lady who wants something from life,
However, as with many, she is filled with pain,
And as such has veered a bit off course,
She lost her mother as a teenager,
And as such probably didn't deal with what that all meant,
So for several years she did most likely what felt good,
Or for what goes for pleasure...
But the beauty of it is that one day she woke up,
Realizing that life was more than a party, fun and games,
Most beautifully she realized it when she was still open, free and young,
She only has her self to work on,
No children yet,
Or stack of bad stuff,
For whatever reason, she was pointed in my direction,
And for as much as she feels I can do for her,
She can do as much for me,
Mainly allowing me to give back a tiny bit of what,
God has blessed me with,
Which in turn will allow her to one day reach for the hand of someone else,
That is how this thing is going to have to be done if we have plans.
To collectively get anywhere,
Or collectively do anything,
Because until we have all gotten somewhere...
I know you feel me on this,
So as I asked previously,
Wrap your heart and prayers around us,
We are on our way!

Love, Peace and Blessings,
angelia

Disconnected?

Last night, I watched CNNs Black in America,
And I had mixed feelings, nothing really new,
Because for those of us who stay abreast,
We already knew,
However, I did enjoy finding out about the young visionaries,
Such as Professor Fryar,
Controversial for sure,
But whatever works,
Moving on...
Many times I find myself feeling a bit disconnected from the larger AA,
Community, try as I might,
And God knows I try,
My life has taken me on so many wonderful paths,
With so many opportunities,
And experiences, sometimes it is difficult to stay really connected,
Many times it seems as though there is absolutely no frame of reference,
There are times when these feelings hit me, even amongst my family,
So what I try to do is to find some middle ground,
Something that is universally connective and focus on that,
That is also what drives me back to the 'hood' of things,
To try to reach the youngsters,
Because God knows that I could have taken a different path,
Been in a totally different place,
I am really RAMBLING, this morning,
With a simple need to SPEAK,
I have often been accused of trying too hard,
I 'on know if that is true or not,
But I simply feel I have to do something,
It reminds me of my ninth grade Geometry teacher, Ms. Clark,
She saw my petrified young face sitting in that sea of white eleventh graders,
So she kept her eye on me all year,
Helping me to stay on top of things,
I did,
And at the end of the year,
She wrote in my year book,
"Small things take you big Places..."
So that's what I try to do,
Small things,
Maybe it will help someone else go to big Places...

PEACE!
angelia

Do You Ever?

Do you ever do things just because they bring a smile to your face?
Joy to your heart…
Things like read books that have no socially redeeming value,
Other than the fact that they are fun and take you away from yourself,
Or eat a pint of your favorite Ben and Jerry’s ice cream,
Because it tastes so good and it’s hot outside,
Without one thought of calories,
How about run outside with your twenty-something son,
When it’s raining, dancing uninhibitedly because it’s something,
You did when he was a small boy and it’s special to you both,
Or sit down next to your love,
Laughing at life’s absurdities,
With your hand in the small of his back and your foot in his hand,
Because that feels like the safest and best place on planet earth…
Knowing that no one knows you better,
The good, the bad, the ugly, the light and the dark,
And they love you anyway…
You should try it, or something like it,
It’s real nice!

Love!
angelia

Peace Out!

In having conversations with friends and family over the past several years,
They always comment on how quiet I am sometimes,
Partly I suppose because in my youth, I was so vocal, political, hellbent on making a point,
However with growth, came a certain amount of maturity and one thing I discovered is that,
People are basically going to do whatever they are going to do,
Sometimes they will benefit more by example than by what is told,
That has certainly worked for me, because my greatest role models were those,
Who displayed quiet strength, having nothing to prove to anyone,
So I started to seek Peace,
Nowadays, I can be in a room full of people arguing madly,
And I can and will zone out, if I am unable to just get out,
Many times someone in my office will tell me about something,
And I am surprised because I had missed out on the shenanigans,
Though it might have been in the office next door,
My figuring is that simply living is challenge enough without getting,
'Caught up in bought madness, we can get chaos for free'
It is also a simple matter of choosing your battles,
Deciding which warfield you wish to die on,
For instance, if I see someone harming a child,
I am going to get Strapped and get in the fight,
However, if I see a grown, should know better adult making silly choices,
I am going to throw prayer their way and leave 'em to their mess,
Because we all know the only folks we can change is us,
I also choose not to engage in certain skirmishes bought to me,
When I say or do something I know what I meant,
If someone has chosen to take it wrong,
They have one course of action that will get them the truth,
Ask me, I will tell them,
Otherwise, innuendo, going to my neighbors or coming up with their own,
Scenarios isn't going to do a thing,
Because in seeking Peace one tries fervently to assume nothing,
Allowing time and understanding to do it's work,
Trust me,
Seeking Peace is work,
But you have my word, it sure is nice and...PEACEFUL!

MAD BLESSINGS!

angelia

When It's Time...

As most of you know I am a mentor by ministry,
Young women in crisis or struggle is what my heart leads me to do,
I have been menteeless for a while,
I was so tired and the girls were on their own, so I told myself,
Mama Deep needs a break,
However, for the past few weeks I told myself and my husband that I was,
Going to start looking again...soon,
However as with most things in my life, God steps in and does the work for me,
When he knows I am ready,
Yesterday I recieved a cryptic Email from my youngest, who is thousands of miles away,
That read,
"You will be receiving a call from a young woman who needs you"...
I rolled my eyes, Malik thinks his mama is the....
And can do most things,
Anyway,
I didn't hear from her yesterday, but this morning she called,
I remembered her from years ago, she was friend of my son's and she lost her mom at age 15,
Now five years later she has just turned twenty one and she is ready to change her life,
And she needed someone to listen,
First she thanked me for raising such a loving man,
Then she told me what her life had been like,
I allowed her to talk, interjecting when she paused,
Then I worked on a game plan for her, school, gainful employment,
And Me...
We are going to get together soon,
I was so excited and rejuvenated and very ready,
There is always work to be done,
And it always comes when it's time...
So keep me and her covered with prayer...

Smooches!
angelia

Niceties?

I wish someone could tell a sister, when nice became a dirty word,
I’m constantly amazed at how some turn their noses up,
When calling others nice,
Is it because we have become so cynical or been hurt so badly,
That we can’t trust or accept human decency,
Or is it just plain popular to be considered,
Hell on Wheels,
I’m not kidding here,
I really want to know,
I have several rules of thumb,
And one of them is still the ultimate,
Golden Rule,
To treat people as I wish to be treated,
I tell folks straight out, if I’m not treating you right,
Then act accordingly,
Another rule is this,
When I’m not feeling someone,
I leave them alone,
I speak to them, wish them well,
But I go my way and allow them to go theirs,
No harm, no foul,
Because life is too short to stay constantly embroiled,
In foolishness and fussing,
And I know this is a news flash,
But as we age it gets even shorter,
For real…I would not lie to you....honest!
Nothing is sadder than a person who has lived,
For many years and aren’t enjoying their,
Life because they are bound up in madness and bitterness,
Not only that, I have discovered,
That we get back from the universe,
That which we provide,
Kindness gets kindness,
Mess gets mess,
Good in Good out,
Thanks for allowing me to vent on a Friday….
Love You Like Pound Cake!

Angelia

SHAE'S STORY....Late 2008
Mrs. Black....Early 2009

Dancing to What?

I often wonder what it is that makes a person decide a course of action,
Is it that the person, knows his or her own mind to such an extent,
That they trust their instincts and their gut,
And because of a certain amount of self-confidence,
They know what works for them,
Or is it that they wait for trends or what everyone else is doing and if that works for them,
They head out in that direction,
As a loner, do your own thing, go your own way kind of chick,
I have always wondered about that,
I meet folks, mostly the ones I admire and enjoy most,
Who have such focus and though they are gracious to the opinions of others,
Going in they are pretty sure where they are headed,
And will most of the time do their own thing and land feet first…
I also meet that set who go every which way the wind blows,
If they are with me, then that is who they are,
If they are with someone else,
Then they become that,
And I don’t mean a chameleon-like ability to change and adapt,
Because that is surely a beautiful thing,
And one I embrace,
But I mean that desire, to fit in so badly,
That they become almost caricatures of who they are with,
I notice this particularly amongst my young people,
They often will say,
Ms. A you just don’t know how hard it is to be different,
I immediately disabuse them of that notion,
Telling that even in my advanced years, I do recall that it is most difficult,
To dance to one’s own drummer,
Doing the Tango, while everyone else is doing the Electric Slide,
However, I tell them that dance we must, to that music playing in our,
Heads and Hearts…
Because to live truly full, passionate lives we have to be who God intended,
Otherwise we are lying,
Mostly to ourselves,
I think about my youngest son and my niece,
Malik and Charlie,
And my hears bursts with pride,
Because I have never met two more knowing who they are,
And handling up, young people in my life,
They spend precious little time,
Being consumed with what others are about,
And are inordinately passionate about doing well,
While having fun…
And dancing, fervently to their inner music…

Smooches!
angelia

If You Don't Know!

I have many rules that I live by,
One of my golden ones is if I don’t know from whence I speak, to remain quiet until I find out,
I also make a point of not taking on things,
I know in advance that I can’t do with some skill,
That has always been my motto,
If I can’t do it leave it alone, leave it to those who can,
Kind of in the if it don’t fit don’t force it frame of mind,
As such, it is exhausting to engage in verbal combat with those,
Who are posturing and pretending to know a thing,
Either because they should and don’t,
Or they feel they should be an expert on everything,
When that strikes professionally it is almost laughable,
Because I am begging them to please admit,
You don’t know,
So we can know what we are working with and move on,
But many times, I will get the nodding heads and glazed eyes, or,
The interjection of words that don’t quite add up,
And it is clear the person is clueless,
In some cases they will come back and admit on the low,
That they ‘might not’ be sure,
However, in too many cases they will fake the funk,
Until there is a mess to clean up,
So my advice in that case is simply this,
If you don’t know,
Say you don’t know,
From the gate,
That way we can work on making the thing work,
You bring your skillset,
I bring mine and together we can do the darn thing,
Because,
To admit imperfection doesn’t make you weak, it simply means,
You Be Human!

Love and Blessings,

Angelia
www.angeliavmenchan.com

Confidentially Speaking?

Assuming someone is of like mind and interests is a huge leap of faith,
I have seen relationships fail miserably because of that assumption,’
No two people see eye to eye on everything, and in the right context,
Opposites is a beautiful thing,
That brings me to the knowing who to trust thing,
Many people claim ‘friendships’ and immediately start trusting,
Assuming that because a person has befriended them, they are of like minds,
Usually the person does not find out otherwise, until something goes wrong, very wrong,
One of those deal breakers is having a confidence compromised,
In this day of emails, text messages and instant messages,
Way too many people are sending stuff to ‘friends’,
Assuming that they aren’t going to ‘tell’ anyone,
What they had better know is the best way to keep something secret,
Totally secret, is to never tell it,
Because what happens is a friend tells a friend, who tells a friend, and if in that chain,
Someone ain’t your friend,
Are you following me yet?
I had a funny experience about a year ago,
Someone I conversed with online,
Sent an email to someone asking them what they thought of me,
Unfortunately they sent it to someone who felt the need to send it to me,
My response was to ignore it, not discussing with either person,
But taking it for what is was worth,
Because what I know for sure,
Is that anyone who does unto someone else,
Has the potential to do unto me,
So my take on is this,
Unless one is absolutely, unequivocally sure about the other person’s loyalty,
Don’t put it out there like that,
It is one thing to dispute what someone said you said,
It is something else altogether to deny what is written,
And saved!
This one is free!

Love You Madly!
Angelia
www.angeliavmenchan.com

Too Old For What?

The books I write encompass a range of ages, there are always young people and elders,
However my most got it going on characters, particularly women, are older than forty, everytime,
Because what I know for sure is that if you have lived right, taken care of yourself, saved up a few ducats and have the love of a good man, those are the best years of your life,
I have had people who tried to discourage me from writing about women of a certain age,
My thirty-something niece was horrifed when in my first book my characters aged from teens to late forties, because the sweet, young thang didn't even know...
I love her madly so I had to straighten her out...
Later on an editor was working on my second book and she tried to convince me to make my characters younger, because she just KNEW, there was no way that middle aged people could be that darn sexy,
No way, no how,
I had to tell her that if she felt that way, then she was way too old herself, though she was young,
One of the sweetest things a reader said to me about that particular book, Cinnamon's Universe,
Was,
"I love the way you are repping for those of us who are older, but still got it going on!"
That's my job...
My goal is to write about fully rounded, flawed, magnificent, got it going on women, for all of my days,
Because you know what the world is filled with them,
We Live,
We Love,
We Rule!
And as my mama, Ora Lee always told us,
"Don't nothing get old but your shoes and if you work everyday, you can always get new shoes.!"
We ain't too old for nuttin'

Love and Blessings,
angelia

www.angeliavmenchan.com

Don't Work Me!

I don’t like to be worked!
Now before anyone assumes I mean I don’t like to work, that can’t be further from the truth…With all these jobs I got…giggling…
What I mean is I don’t like anyone to work me…
Working someone is something kids specialize in,
They ask Mama,
Mama says NO, they ask Daddy,
He is clueless that Mama said no so he says Yes,
That my friends is elementary, working someone,
And as parents we expect that we just have to be savvy and vigilant hoping we stay a half step Ahead of the children,
The being worked that peeves me the most is the dishonest,
Sneaky kind, the kind that comes cloaked and disguised…
Someone hints broadly, suggesting that something is in your best interest,
Knowing all the while that the greater benefit is theirs and if they didn’t need you,
You wouldn’t even be involved in it,
Umm Hmm,
I know a few folks like that and I have found the perfect solution,
I ignore them,
Unless they come straight out and bring it,
Telling me and or asking me for what they need or want…
Mother ignores them, acts like she can’t see the flowers for the trees and don’t Understand a thing,
Like I used to tell the kiddies,
There are two answers if you ask me for or to do something,
I will either say YES,
Or I will say NO,
And you will have to accept that I have that choice,
Otherwise…
Well you feel me…
So if you want something, need something, got to have something,
And I have the power to give it,
Just ask a sister,
Otherwise,
I will feel like I’m being worked,
And act like I don’t even understand,

Love You Madly!
Angelia

http://www.angeliavmenchan.com/

Mind Change...

Sometimes a sister simply has to rethink things,
Do a mind change, enforce perogatives...
My office is in the process of considering Telework,
Which basically means, working from home,
X numbers of days in a payperiod,
I immediately said, "Uhn Uhn, not me, my home is my oasis, not interested in work infiltrating my space, mostly ringing phones."
For the most part, I still feel that way,
However, for the past couple of days,
I have worked from home,
My office is in the process of relocating,
So phones, internet, etc. has been down,
I have loved it!
I haven't gotten many calls,
But the ability to answer emails,
Reconcile,
Redistribute,
And work without interruption has been amazing,
I'm still not sold out on Teleworking,
Am not even sure if I am as disciplined as I once was,
However, it is certainly something to consider,
When I am feeling a bit burnt and need a bit of reprieve,
I am not signing on yet,
But I plan to maintain a woman's prerogative,
To Mind Change!

Blessings,
Angelia
www.angeliavmenchan.com
www.mammproductions.com

For Real!

On Father's Day weekend, I was in my hometown and on my way out of church,
A friend from high school stopped me, hands on hips,
Demanding to know, what was up with Cinnamon!
I was surprised and pleased that she had read my books,
And more surprised by how she said it,
It was as though I had kidnapped Cinnamon and was holding her hostage somewhere,
I told her that Cinnamon had a presence in Is NO Not Clear enough for you,
And is featured in Schae's Story,
Rolling her eyes she said,
That's cool and all but I want to know what happens with her and Black,
And I want all the details...
I gave her a hug, telling her I would see what I could do,
After the trilogy I had great reluctance with continuing the story between my main characters,
Though they did show up as parts of backstories in my other work,
I have read so many posts about,
People being tired of characters, et al,
And I certainly didn't want that,
However,
As someone so eloquently told me,
"It all depends on how you give it to us, if you make us care about these people, have us feel we know them, we will come back time and again, because we really want to know what is going on with them."
Someone else said,
"We care about all the people in Center City and if you bring us all their stories, we will get the opportunity to peek at those we love and miss."
Hmmm....we will see...
But I want to thank everyone for the love,
And for making Center City a place they want to know about,
For Real!

Love and Blessings,
angelia
http://www.angeliavmenchan.com/ http://www.mammproductions.com/